I am a revert to islam and have 3 children with my pakistani husband….since our marriage my mother in law has always been against my marriage and has always ill advised my husband against me. I have decided to ignore them and not go to there house as they told my husband me and my children were not welcome…..i have tried to maintain relations for the sake of Allah but unfortunately as a “mother” myself i have rights and i don’t want my children near those who wish bad for me. My children need me more than anybodyelse. My mother in law always chooses to pick out faults in all my children who are aged under 5 years old and this is something i do not like as she has 2 daughters who are baaligh and they are allowed to break every rule in shariah and she says nothng!
For the sake of Allah i am keeping away and getting on with myself…..please pray for me and my children as except for Allah we have no one.
may Allah forgive me but i can no longer carry on mentally and wish to live a life of islam not pakistani dramas and bidaat!
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.
We understand your effort in trying and maintaining family ties with your mother in-law. We also take note of your mother in-laws unfortunate attitude towards you and your family. May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen.
At this challenging moment in your life, the understanding and support of your husband is indeed sufficient. At the same time, your support towards your husband is also important. Hold firm and support one another in seeking the pleasure of Allah and He will create a means of relief for you Inshallah.
While you remain at home with your children, allow your husband to maintain contact with his mother. Gradually, your mother in-law will understand her indifference towards you and may bridge the gaps between you. Alternatively, express your sentiments to an elderly reputable person who may enjoy some influence over your mother-in-law to offer her some advice. Whenever you meet with your mother in-law, be courteous and kind to her. Remember, kindness is extremely affective in creating bonds and bridging gaps between people.
Also, make Dua that Allah Ta’alah guides your mother-in-law, cleans your hearts from past animosities and instils love for each other in your hearts. Remember, always seek the help of Allah Ta’alah as he is the sole controller of hearts.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Durban South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.