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I want to be a good muslim, good person, good wife and be happy and feel the joy Allah has given me and enables us to hold on to despite the most difficult of circumstances

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Asalam arlaikuum, I am wrting as a Danish/English woman raised in the west but always around many Muslims, I am a muslim in my heart I would say and I am very much on my path to becomming a proper Muslim and hope to take my Shehadah soon. I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 6 years with a Tunisian man, who is Muslim, and we want to get married now. My parents mean the world to me, and their approval means everything, especially as I know what an importance they have/ and should have in Islam. We are very different, I am very God fearing and the more I kearn about Islam the more Compfort I feel, they have a very western mentality and are actually tring to forbid me from marrying my fiancee as they do not know him. They refuse to get to know him should i say, and the more i feel that things are improving the more claer it has become that it is not so. We are in 2 different countries, we want to be in the same place, under the same roof, work hard together and share life but most of all we want it to be Halal my family understand this, but are refusing to accept the marriage and have threatened to end all contact to me if i do not get my fiancee to sign a pre nuptual agreement, purely becaue they feel he is going to mistreat me, or take my inheritance for himself and his family * this is all due to the media, cliche stories that are the apple of the eye of westenrs cincerning Islam or Muslims (mainly arabs and middle-easterners) anyway the point is, i love this man, he loves me, we have been through so much and realy fought for what we have, and love eachother more and more each day, despite the distance and the lack of support and approval. My fiancee is more than willing to sign because his not after anything, however he is not willing to postpone anymore as we always postpont and make sacrigfises for my family, and we just feel that enough is enoug. I am in an impossible position, i am trying to understand and respect my parents and i know they want the best, but i feel that by making my finacee sign this paper, its like entering a marriage besed on diftrust, or on the basis that there is a plan b should things not work out, and by that, its a very bad start to something i hold so sacred because i know that we would not still be toghether if Allah had not intended it. What can i do? i want to be a good muslim, good person, good wife and by happy and feel the joy Allah has given me and enables us to hold on to despite the most difficult of circumstances, but offcourse i want my familys concent, i am jsut not willing to let go for anyone??? please advice me because I need to do the right thing insha allah

Answer

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam;

Islam appeals to the natural instincts of every human being on condition:

·         The person is honest in seeking the ultimate truth

·         The person is not wrongly influenced by external sources

It is pleasing to note your comfort about Islam. That is due to you being honest in your approach to Islam and not allowing yourself to be influenced against Islam. When a person is sincere in her quest for the truth, Allah guides the person. We make Dua Allah keep you firm and steadfast on Islam.

Sister, Islam is the perfect religion. Muslims in general, like other human beings are not perfect. Your love and respect for your parents even though they are non Muslims is an integral part of the teachings of Islam. Your parents also love you and wish well for you. They want to see you well settled and happy. In view of your unique circumstances, you may agree to the advice of your parents to draw up a pre nuptial contract. The Tunisian person in reference would understand your situation and co operate with you. In doing so, you will satisfy your parents as well as not offend your future husband. According to Shari’ah, a pre nuptial contract may be agreed upon. The issue is not of distrust. It is to ensure that the trust remains. Having a pre nuptial contract should not be seen as an obstacle for a happy marriage. You may also refer to the idealwoman.org website for advise on feminine related issues.

 And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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