I am a 30 year old single male. By profession I am a doctor. Can i go to jihad to get shaheed because i cant take the burden of my life anymore, i am afraid i’ll become crazy or kufur because of this burden?
Can i marry without telling the women that i have vitiligo or is it a must for me to tell her about my vitiligo (white patch on the skin, not contagious but might be inherited)?
Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,
There are two aspects to your question:
1. Going for Jihad because you cannot take the burden of life.
2. Marrying someone without telling them about the vitiligo.
Allah has favoured us with countless bounties which we enjoy every single day of our lives. If we were to start pondering and counting Allah’s blessings upon us we would not be able to enumerate them[1], yet there are few who would actually stop in the course of their life to think about these bounties. Allah Ta’ala has mentioned countless times in the Qur’an,
“Which of the favours of Allah shall you deny?”[2]
or invokes the previous nations to remember the bounties they have been favoured with,
“Oh Bani Isra’īl, remember the bounty We favoured you with…”[3];
“..And remember the bounty favoured upon you…”[4]
The purpose why Allah draws us towards counting His blessings and bounties, even though no one will ever be able to count them, is to instil the quality of contentment in our heart so that perhaps we may find a way to truly thank Allah for these bounties. This is the golden prescription for all the burdens of one’s life.
Remember that Allah has declared from beforehand,
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
Allah does not burden a soul (with anything) except that it can bear it… (Qur’an 2:286)
Just like every soul is tested, Allah Ta’ala has also tested you with some trials and tribulations. The purpose is to remember Allah and His bounties even in the wake of the test itself. Do not be despondent of the mercy of Allah. This in itself is a lifelong Jihad. When Allah sees that His slave has been tested and yet he returns to the servitude of Allah, Allah Ta’ala opens His doors of mercy upon the slave. The key is to recognize the countenance of Allah, His grandeur and His authority. Make your daily routine to set aside a few minutes after every Salah to contemplate on all the bounties Allah has favoured you with and you will see the burdens melt away. While keeping this link with Allah, you should increase your closeness to Him by following His commandments. The prophets of Allah alayhimus salam were tested the most in their lives, yet they remained the most content in the servitude of Allah. How did they manage to do that? Allah Ta’ala gives us a prescription for that in Qur’an:
وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا Oذَلِكَ الْفَضْلُ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ عَلِيمًا
And he who follows Allah and the messenger, then they are in the company of those whom Allah has favoured, from among the Prophets, the righteous ones, the martyrs, and the upright. And what a wonderful fellowship that is! That is a bounty from Allah and Allah is sufficient as The Knower (Qur’an 4:69-70)
My dear brother,
We applaud your zeal to strive and suggest you have patience with Allah’s decree, and follow His commandments. Ponder over his bounties, one by one and make Shukr (give thanks) to Allah for each. Insha’Allah you will see your troubles flaking away and your Iman build up in His Mercy.
Obtain a copy of “Al Manajaat Maqbul” and make it your daily routine to recite a portion from it. This book is a compilation of all the Prophetic supplications. No supplications are better than the one taught by our Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. Insha’Allah we pray that Allah will ease His tests on your and give you the best of this world and the hereafter.
With regards to informing your proposed wife about your skin condition, we ask you to ponder on the matter. Would you have wanted to know if your proposed wife is afflicted with some condition which may negatively affect you in your married life? Marriage is not only a spiritual bond but also a physical companionship as well. It is important for the husband and wife to have a comfortable relationship. Vitilligo is something which cannot be kept physically ignored. Hence, if you retain such information from your potential spouse and end up marrying someone who may not be comfortable with the skin decolouration, you will definitely lose that comfort zone between you and your new wife.
She may feel deceived and betrayed at the very beginning of the marriage and may not find the courage to regain that happiness that she sought from the marriage. We suggest that you explain completely and openly about your medical condition so that the person who would accept you, having knowledge of these factors, will be worthy of having you as her partner. This unconditional acceptance of one’s partner will be a means of immense love and blessing for your married life. May Allah grant you a pious and loving wife, who will accept you for how you are and be thankful to Allah about it. Ameen
Mawlana Faisal bin Abdul Hameed
Student, Darul Iftaa
Canada
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net