I am a muslim man want to marry a converted muslim girl, who respects my religion, my family and my society..Sincerely follows them. my family is oppsing just because how…

I am a muslim man want to marry a converted muslim girl, who respects my religion, my family and my society..Sincerely follows them. my family is oppsing just because how will they face society, they dont find any fault in girl..girl has left everything related to her past life…we want to marry only after the consent of my family but despite knowing everything they bring new proposal and are pressuring to get married by their wish..i m very depressed what to do.

In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh

At the outset, you must understand that marriage is a sacred institution. When making decisions of such importance, one should consider three things:

1. Istikhāra (seeking guidance from Allāh Tā`la)
2. Advice and Du`a of the parents/pious elders.
3. The woman whom one is marrying

Istikhāra is a means of seeking guidance from Allāh Tā`la. Nabī (Sallāllāhualaīhiwasalam) showed us a method of Istikhāra:

Nabī (Sallāllāhu alahiwasalam) used to say:

If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two Rak`āts, not as an obligatory observance, but voluntarily.  Then he should recite the following:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ فَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ here name your needخَيْرًا لِي فِي عَاجِلِ أَمْرِي وَآجِلِهِ فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ اللَّهُمَّ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّهُ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ رَضِّنِي بِهِ

(Saheeh Al Bukhari, Pg. 208,Vol .7 Darul Fikr)

(Translation of Istikhāra Du`a)^[1]

Inshāllah, Allāh Tā`la will inspire you with the correct decision, and Allāh Tā`la will decree good in that decision for you.

 When deciding whom to marry one should consider the golden advice of Nabi (SallāllāhuAlaihiwasalam) :

Nabi (Sallāllāhu alaīhi wasalam) urged his Ummat to marry religious woman.

Nabi (sallāhu alihi wasalam) said: “A woman is married because of, four reasons, for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty and for her Dīn, give preference to the women with dīn , you will attain success.”

(Sahih Muslim 4/175,dar aljeel, beirut)

Also when choosing a life partner, you should choose such a partner who will be a suitable mother to your children.

 Since one`s parents have experienced the ups and downs of life, it is good to adhere to their advice. At first, it might seem that the advise of the parents is not good, but the benefits of that advise will be seen later in life.

If after making Istikhāra, and hearing the opinion of your parents, you still feel strongly that you should marry the revert Muslim girl  then try and convince your parents to allow the marriage to take place.

Explain to your parents that if you are forced into a marriage it will result in living your life with a woman, you are not happy with. You could also contact a local ālim and request him to negotiate the matter with your parents.

Also explain to them that it is of no shame for them if you marry a reverted Muslim girl. In fact, it should be a matter of pride for them that they were a cause for bringing a woman closer to Dīn and a means of her spreading Dīn to her family.

 However, it is important that the woman whom you intend marrying is obliging and willing to follow all the injunctions of Islam, if not it could be very detrimental as it could lead to problems in the marriage.
 It is also important for you to know the reason why has she accepted Islam, as many cases have been witnessed that the bride/groom accepts Islam simply to marry a Muslim.

If Allāh Tā`la has decreed for you to marry the woman you wish, then you should be strong enough in your own faith, as this will encourage her to become stronger towards the injunctions of Dīn.

 NB: Whenever negotiating with your parents and family members make sure that your emotions do not overtake you. Speak in a good and humble manner, and do not speak in such a way that will jeopardize the relationship between you and your family members.

May Allāh Tā`la ease and straighten out the affairs of your life. āmīn

And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum

Ml. Muhammed Sindhi,
Student Dārul Iftā

Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah

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