my question is my friend taken doner egg because she cant produce her own egg she taking this decision because she dont wants to lose her husband if her husband marry other woman she told she end her life now what islam says about this
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
It is every couple’s ardent desire to have good, pious children. Unfortunately, we have adopted an independant mentality that if we wish to have kids then it is entirely up to our individual capacity. To have children is indeed a bounty from Allah Ta’āla alone. This is such a fortunate thing that many people beseech Allah Ta’ala throughout their lives for pious children but Allah Ta’ala has destined otherwise. In fact, one of the greatest Nabîes of Allah Ta’ala, Hadhrat Ibrahim (Alayhis salām) used to supplicate to Allah Ta’ala most profoundly and frequently. Even Hadrat Zakariyya (Alayhis salām) used to supplicate for children most passionately and fervently during the latter part of his life.
Hence, a Muslim couple is required to express their gratitude unto Allah Ta’ala for what they possess and be patient for that which they desire. The key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship is that the couple realise they have each other and if this is attained, then it paves the way forward and cements a healthy relationship. Marriage per se is not only about having kids, although it forms a great portion in a marriage, rather it is fulfilling the rights of one another and most importantly fulfilling the rights of Allah Ta’āla.
Nevertheless, gratitude may be expressed in the following ways:
1. Recite the following Du’aa very frequently:
Allahummâ Lakal Hamdû Wa Lakash-Shukru
Translation: O Allah! All praises are due to You alone and I express my gratitude unto You alone (for granting me the honour of motherhood).
2. Allocate a fixed time for two Rak‘aat of Nafl Salaat. Whilst in Sajdah, make Du‘aa abundantly. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi Hab Liy Min-Ladunka Zurriyatan-Tayyibah Innaka Sam‘iud-Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Bless me from your side with pure children. Verily You are all-hearing of the Du’aa.
3. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi-j‘alniy Muqeema-Salaati wa min Zurriyatiy Rabbanaa wa Taqabbal Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Salâh and accept our Du’aas.
4. Similarly, express your gratitude from the heart in such a manner that you stay happy and try to stay happy at all times. Try to forget all your past sorrows. Build your dreams and keep your hopes and spirits high. Ponder over the bounties of Jannat.
Although many couples may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following marriage recipe can be used by couples whose marriages are already in trouble or by those who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.
Allah Ta’āla described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: ‘… He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . ” (Holy Quran 30:21).
Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.
Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.
Be Careful of Your Words
Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.
Show Affection
Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.
Be Your Spouse’s Friend
Show interest in your mate’s life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other’s lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.
Work Together in the House
The Prophet (Sallallāhu alayhi wasallam) is known to have helped his wives in the house. In addition, if the Prophet (Sallallāhu alayhi wasallam) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands should not feel that they are.
Communication is Important
Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counselling. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.
Live Simply
Do not be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. ‘Rizq” is from Allah Ta’āla. In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah Ta’āla for the many blessings in your life.
Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them can all be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.
Nevertheless reverting to your query of egg donation, the lineage of a child conceived through egg donation will be obscured and disarranged. Hence, this is not permissible.
The acceptable alternative would be to adopt a child under the age of two years, who can be breastfed and will then become a mahram. (close relative)
For further details concerning IVF, Egg donation, kindly refer to a research conducted at the following link:
http://www.askimam.org/fatwa/fatwa.php?askid=71a1a7f68ceae5ca1f3e84eba755be2b
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Ebrahim Desai,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah