i am 27 years old and married.. this is regarding my earlier question on ur site i.e. fatwa ID 14798 i am following hanfi maslak and i want to know more bout KHULA..or what is it called when a women ask for divorce..i have heard that a wife can ask for khula if a husband is not giving her divorce.And what are circumstances under which a wife can ask for it under islamic laws.pls explain it in detail.my wife says she can demand khula if i marry 2nd time. And regarding my earlier question i feel sometimes that if i dont marry the girl of my choice i will commit zina with her cos of this im in a very bad stage of my life.i also dont want to commit adultery and the forces of relation i.e.parents and wife are not willing to let me marry her.And when her thought comes to my mind i cant control myself.but due to us living in different cities i can console and deter myself from this sin.but my urge is very strong and it does not go away from my mind.i feel some outer force is responsible for it. pls give some dua or anything so that i cud abstain from it wrong doings..
one more thing i came accross is regarding fatwa id=14896 in which it says it allowed to affectionately call “my baby” to ur husband/wife. whereas i have heard that u cannot compare correlate or call ur wife with any relation with whom ur nikah is haraam. .e beta..maa..baap.normallly in india its common to tell meri maa as a irritated dailogue to any female.and call all younger ones as beta..whereas this “my baby” thing is modernised westernised thing of same.first and foremost baby means child so ur calling ur wife my child indirectly. and also tell me what are the repurcussions for it in islam if someone mistakenly does this.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
1. Khula according to Shariah is where the wife requests the husband to issue her a divorce in exchange of cash or kind. If the husband agrees to issue the divorce on condition he is paid an x amount or is given a specific item, the wife will be required to hand over the money/item to her. Once the money/item is handed over to the husband, one irrevocable divorce will take effect (Qudoori Pg. 152 Qadeemi). A wife may ask for Khula, if the husband is not fulfilling his marital obligations towards her and also refuses to issue her a divorce. As an alternate to avoid abuse and suffering she may request the husband for Khula.
You state that you are in contact with another girl. It is haraam for you to have any relation with a Gher Mahram. Furthermore, your actions are condemned as you are married and betraying the trust that your wife has in you. You should feel ashamed of your betrayal and furthermore, bear the consequences of your betrayal. It is natural for your wife to ask for a divorce as she has lost trust in you. She has gathered anger and hatred for you in her heart.
You also state that you wish to marry a girl of your choice. If you were not entirely satisfied with marrying your current wife why did you marry her? By you betraying her in this way, you have devastated and destroyed her life and future. Since you have some relation with the other girl, you are already engaged in Zina. You cannot control yourself because of your haraam relation. Abstain from the haraam relation and make Tawba to Allah and seek his forgiveness. You will then find the will and power to resist the Haraam.
It is your duty to apologize to your wife and remedy your relation with her. If you do not intend keeping her in your marriage, release her with respect and dignity by issuing a divorce. Do not further ruin her life by withholding the divorce and asking for Khula.
Ponder and reflect over your actions and also consult with your seniors before embarking on any decision. The only thing that would assist in abstaining from the haraam is to severe all relations with the other girl and be faithful to your wife.
2. The only time such statements will affect the validity of the marriage is when if the words are uttered with the intention of divorce or making the wife Haraam (unlawful) (Qudoori Pg. 156)
And Allah knows best
Mufti Mohammad Zakariyyah Desai,
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah