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I have heard that should a man that is already married and want to take a 2nd wife he can marry with out his 1st wife permission and only tell her 1 year later

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Answer

Jazakallah for your question.
The institution of marriage enjoys a high status in Islam. It is higly recommended and essential for the sound survival of society.

Polygamy was deeply rooted and common in pagan Arabia when Nabi (salallaahu alayhi wassallam) was granted Nabuwat. Allah Ta’ala dealt with this unchecked, irresponsible and unrestricted practice through the Holy Quran and sought to end the chaos of this practice and it’s destructive effects on the family structure and on society.

Allah Ta’ala clearly states in the Quran, “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans (whom you marry or whose mothers you take as wives for you), marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, ……….. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice” (4:3)

This passage was revealed after the Battle of Uhud. Many women were widowed. This was one way of protecting the rights of the widows and orphans. Islam did not invent polygamy nor abolish or encourage it. Islam is realistic and practical. Allah Ta’ala has merely given permission for it. Every man has to examine his lifestyle to assess whether he can truly and sincerely do justice to his “wives” according to the rules set down by Allah Ta’ala. His failure to fulfill the rights of either of his wives spells certain doom for him in the aakhirah.

Let every man who takes on more than one wife be clear about the following: The second or third wife, if ever taken, enjoys the same rights and privileges as the first one. She is entitled to whatever is due to the first one. (Nor should the rights and privileges of the first wife be ignored). Equality between the wives in treatment, provisions and kindness is a prerequisite of polygamy and a condition that must be fulfilled by anyone who maintains more than one wife. The permission to take on an extra wife is an exception. Polygamy in Islam is not an injunction or an article of faith. It is merely a permission from Allah Ta’ala as a solution to some of the difficult problems in human relations and in the human condition.

Although a man does not need permission from his first wife to marry a second one, he has to seriously consider if his action is going to cause pain and strive in his present home. He has to examine the negative consequences this will have on his present family. More and more increasingly men are finding it difficult do to justice to care for and fulfill the needs of one wife and family. The man needs to be clear in his mind that more seriously, will he be able to treat both wives equitably?

When a marriage is performed in secrecy, this can give rise to gossip and news of this union can reach the first wife in the most painful circumstances. What is the point in telling the first wife about his second marriage a year later? This can be emotionally devastating for the first wife. Anyway, if he reveals his second marriage a year later, how on earth is the man going to be able to abide by the conditions set down by Allah Ta’ala as far as the equitable treatment of both wives is concerned in the meantime? Surely one or both partner’s rights are going to be usurped in some way or the other. The man may get away with deceiving both women in this way in this world. However, he will have to face his CREATOR in the aakhirah and he will most certainly find himself in a most painful and disgraceful condition then.

May Allah Ta’ala guide all men and women to abide by HIS laws and also guide them towards fulfilling the rights of each other to earn Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure. Ameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

1SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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