I’m a newly-wed, and I find that I am very bitter and angry when I see beautiful women, because i think my husband would prefer them over me even though he compliments me everyday on my beauty. I’ve taken out my anger on my new husband and I feel that if my current behaviour continues I will put a big strain on my marriage. This has eaten at my self-esteem and I feel that I’m being destructive to myself as well as to others who love me. Because of my baseless doubts, which i know are haraam, I find myself distrusting my husband when I am actually blessed with an honest and loving partner. I know the problem lies with me and I ask for some help in the way of Du’as or guidance. I also want to congratulate you for a wonderful thing that you & your team do for all of us with this website and Insha-Allah may Allah nave mercy on you and bless you throughout your life.
At the outset, we advise that if you and your husband adopt an Islamic attitude in all spheres of life, there will be peace and happiness. There will be no reason for misery and bitterness. It is a Shar’ee obligation for both of you to observe Hijaab from Ghayr Mahrams (not prohibited in marriage). You should not be in the presence of Ghayr Mahram males and neither should your husband be in the presence of Ghayr Mahram females. That attitude will eliminate that natural fear that you have. However, it is possible that you and your husband are faced with an unavoidable situation. Both of you should then lower your gazes. If the gaze falls by mistake, then turn away the gaze.
If you trust your husband, it is not appropriate to ventilate your anger unnecessarily to him. You cannot avoid anger but you should not express it. Suppress it but consider the negative consequence of expressing your anger. If you do not contain yourself now, you will be forced to contain a more devastating situation.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai