Salam Mufti Saheb, 1>one of my brothers, had a dream in which he saw that I was getting married and he mentioned that it was a serious dream n very clear. Even though we know each other on internet, but have never seen each other, but he said that he had a strong feeling that the bride was me. Can u plz interpret for what it means? 2>Is it allowed for women to chat on net and if she finds a suitable person as a groom, so can she chat on net with the person inorder to know more details about him, so that if she is sure, then she can tell her parents about it so that they can fix their marriage? Like, if I get a proposal from a man on net and while I chatted for a long time, and if I find that the person meets the requirements which I was looking for in my spouse..so is this allowed..just inorder to find a spouse by ourselves?
1. The dream in reference has no significance.
2. There are two fundamental aspects in choosing a marriage partner, a) The
outward appearance, b) The ideology and character of the person.
Generally, as well as naturally, the outward appearance of a person is given
prominence before considering the ideology and character of the person.
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) also encouraged the boy and girl to
see one another for the purpose of marriage. (Mishkaat). It is, therefore,
advisable to first choose one’s prospective marriage partner and thereafter
enquire about his/her ideology and character through avenues permissible in
Shari’ah, for example, friends, associates and family members. Shari’ah also
emphasizes one making Mashwara (consult) and make Istikhaara (seek Divine
Guidance) before deciding. How much can one achieve by talking to the boy or
girl directly to determine his/her character and ideology?
Surely, the boy and girl will be as impressive as possible to pass the test.
That is not the normal conduct of the person which will be expressed in his
day to day life. There are many negative factors, if the procedure is
reversed, and prominence is given to communicating with the person, to
determine his character and ideology.
a) Can the person you are chatting with be trusted? There are many incidents
of chatting in the context of marriage but have led to illicit and immoral
relationships. Many people, especially, women have been misled and abused.
b) If the boy and girl consider themselves compatible in ideology and
character but disapprove one another’s outward appearance, that will lead to
grief and agony as the communication was in the context of marriage. The
momentum has been built and now it’s against the expectations of one or both
parties.
Life is too dear to tread on unwarranted risk and thin ice. One should
exercise precaution in every aspect of life.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai