What is the way to mourn when a person dies? When people visit, to offer condolences, they want to pray, read the Quran and Yaseen for the dead. Is this ok or bidda? Does reward go to dead person? Is the “Katham” offered for 3 days ok? Should meals be offered? Some people get together every Thursday to pray for the dead person. Are men & WOMEN allowed to pray at funeral, go to masjid prayer, & to cemetary/graveyard? Please explain in detail what is acceptable and what is not, and how people should conduct themselves at funerals. Also if one lives far away (overseas) and close family family dies in home town/ country, is it ok for the family/ friends to get together and pray for the dead person? What prayers are to be said? What can and cannot be done? JZK
When a person passes away, it is an act of worship and great reward to attend his funeral. The moral obligation to attend to his funeral and console his/her family, will be according to his relationship with the deceased.
According to the Shari?ah, the period of mourning is only three days. It is not permissible to mourn for more than three days. One may console and express condolences to the bereaved family. The practice of mourning the death by reciting Qur’aan as a custom on Thursdays or the third day, etc. has no basis in the Shari?ah. It is an act of Bid?ah. Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] condemned all acts of Bid?at and stated that all acts of Bid?at leads one to the fire of hell. It is advisable for people close to the deceased, friends and relatives to read for the deceased and send the reward for him. There is more ikhlaas and sincerity in that.
It is permissible for friends to gather at the house of the person who lives abroad and whose close family members had passed away to console and comfort him. In this situation too, it is not permissible to practise any form of Bid?ah like gathering and reciting the Qur’aan, etc. specifically for that. One may offer du’aas for the bereaved family and deceased, for example. May Allah Ta’ala grant you Sabr, may Allah forgive the deceased, may Allah grant the deceased high stages in Jannah, etc.
Kindly find attached our standard article on women visiting the graveyard.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai