1. tell me a zikr or dua so I can become a more gentle mother to my children and not hit .

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My 1.5 year old daughter is a very intelligent girl but can be extremely naughty. 2.Also give me a dua for sabr, improving ahlaq and for laziness. 3. One female friend that I know, whenever she sees my children, they are greatly affected by her nazr. I cannot break relation with her but its affecting my children so much? What can I do? She is an oppressed woman. Jazakallah khair.

Answer

Masha Allah your concern to raise your child the correct way without hitting is encouraging.

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Firstly- Make constant dua for your child even in anger. When shouting your child make dua like “May Allah guide you” “May Allah make you pious” instead of negative anger and spur of the moment heart breaking words. This also helps one concientize on Allah Ta’ala and will prevent you from just resorting to anger.

Also try the following steps-
a) Change habit of screaming and shouting and engage your child in constructive activities.
b) If child continues, warn with carrying out your warning like if you do this, you will not go swimming, etc.
c) If child is still disobedient, reprimand with eg 5 minutes sit in a place in the room where you are – note not long periods and not alone and never locked nor in a dark place.
d) Also remember children will try as they are children, be firm when necessary and start focussing more time on LOVING her and enjoying her.

May Allah Ta’ala make your child the coolness of your eyes and happiness in life long.

Secondly – As far as nazr keep reading the sura’s Qul Ha Ayyuhul Kaafirun

Qul Huwallahu Ahad

Qul Aoozubirabbil falaq

Qul Aoozubirabbin Naas and

Aayattul Kursi
and blow on your child daily Morning and Evening. When anyone or yourself admires your child say Maasha Allah laa quwwata illah billah.

Remember also focus on your sins and disobedience to Allah Ta’ala repent and make dua and work towards loving Allah Ta’ala and Insha Allah you will see the effects in your’s and your child life.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

2SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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