i have the following Queries. Firstly what are the binding rights of a husband owed to his wife, secondly is it permissible for a husband to command his wife to break all family and social relations after marriage on the ground that she has chosen a new family,hence his family and should therefor forfeit her family. Furthermore,the shariah does explicitly prohibit physical abuse displayed by the husband,however what is the verdict in the case of emmotional abuse?
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
At the outset one should understand that Shariah has placed certain rights upon individuals that serve as a guideline for the smooth functioning of society. Allah has ordained certain rights upon the husband as well as some rights upon the wife. However, Shariah has encouraged that each one sacrifice his/her right in favour of the other and earn great rewards for that.
The institution of Nikah places rights upon the husband and wife. In order to maintain a balance in the relation and create a harmonious environment, both spouses have to forego some of their rights for the other. If each one demands his/her rights, the stage will be set for a volatile and hostile relation. The husband should understand that it is the favour of the wife upon him that she sacrificed her family for him. He should appreciate and recognize her sacrifice and make her as comfortable as possible. The husband should not abuse his position as husband to torture the feelings and sentiments of his wife. If the husband is not sensitive to the feelings of the wife, the couple will become estranged and the wife will merely become a dummy figure with no love and compassion in the home.
According to Shariah, the husband cannot order the wife to severe relation from her family (Qudoori Page 163 H M Saeed). By marrying into a new family it does not imply that she has forsaken her parents. She should maintain her relation with her family in a way that does not disrupt her from fulfilling her marital obligations.
Secondly, Shariah condemns all forms of abuse including physical and emotional abuse.
جمع الجوامع أو الجامع الكبير للسيوطي – (ج 1 / ص 19884(
) المؤمن من أمنه الناس والمسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده والمهاجر من هجر السوء والذى نفسى بيده لا يدخل الجنة عبد لا يأمن جاره بوائقه (أحمد ، والبزار ، وأبو يعلى ، وابن حبان ، والحاكم ، والعسكرى فى الأمثال عن أنس
Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said “A Muslim is he who others are saved from the abuse of his tongue (emotional) and hand (physical).
In another narration Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said “A person whose neighbour is not safe from his evil, will never enter Jannah
لا يدخل الجنة عبد لا يأمن جاره بوائقه
In conclusion, a marriage relationship is one based on mutual love and respect. The couple should mutually agree on various issues and consider the feelings of the other. If each one will be adamant over his/her right, the relation will never be sustained and the foul effect of that passes over to the children and the broader families.
And Allah knows best
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai,
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah