At the age of 6, I had sex with my (female) cousin who was 7. This was my first sexual experience of any kind, and it led me down a road to many years of masturbation, misery, and depression. I am still plagued by this sin of masturbation. To make things worse I’m a Hafiz, so my question is whether I should lead taraweh this Ramadan? Keep in mind that I don’t commit this sin in Ramadan. In Ramadan my mind doesn’t even wander in that direction. What happens is, I make a firm commitment not to masturbate but this only works for a few months at the most, and then I revert back to it again. I usually make this commitment / taubah 2 months before Ramadan, but then unfortunately I start to masturbate once again, a short while after Eid. I don’t want to ruin other muslims’ salat by leading them in it. Should I lead taraweh this year? Keep in mind that I don’t commit this sin in Ramadan.
Jazakallah and I request your dua
1. Before tackling your actual sin, allow me to remind you that masturbation is a sin in Islam and it is physically and spiritually unhealthy. It attracts the curse of Almighty Allah. Control your train of thoughts and protect your eyes. This is the first step towards curbing this evil habit.
2. Yes, you may lead the Salaat in Taraweeh despite you involved in this sin.
3. I urge you to get married, if possible.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)