I have a fiancee and alhamdullilah we are both practicing and mashallah he is an Aalim. We have been engaged for over a year now but have wanted to get married beforehand. Our parents do not allow us to get married untill he finds himself a suitable occupation and at the moment he rus an islamic school but only gets paid when the school has money due to the fact that it runs on sadaqa. I understand where our parents are coming from because if i had a daughter, i would also like her to marry someone who could provide for her, but my only fears are that the delaying of marriage is causing fitnah between the two of us and obviously non of us want to commit any type of haram.
we would both like to get married to avoid such fitnah and haram but I also do not want to disrespect my parents decision because they are right in their own way and alhamdulillah both our parents are wonderful people. He follows the hanafi madhab whereas i am a ghair muqallid. I do believe that I require my wali’s permission to get married and I also know it is advised by scholars to fast in such a situation to suppress and overcome these desires but is there any other type of advice you could give to me regarding this situation? as I would find fasting difficult especially during the longer hours of the day.
Jazakallah khairoon
Ma-salama
There are two aspects to this query
A) Husband not been financially stable B) Your parents
At the outset, it is important for you to consider the concern of your parents as there are legitimate. They are concerned of your well-being and safety. We all accept that Allah is the Provider of Rizq, however, that is based on sacrifice and effort. The true meaning of Tawakkul (self reliance) is to adopt the means and then have conviction that the driving force to this is Allah. You should request your father to enquire from the boy whether he has a stable income or not. If not, you could consult with your parents and make a final decision thereafter. Always remember in the situation of doubt never be hasty. Keep your gaze on Allah and seek His guidance at all times.
And Allah Knows Best
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai
Student: Darul Ifta