Delaying Nikaah with a girl I’m talking to

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

اسلام عليكم 

I have liked this girl and she liked me back. After a while of talking i have relaised what we doing is wrong and i wish to do a nikaah. We are both 18, she is in college. So she has said to wait till the end of the academic year so she can focus in college but i do not want to do so as i feel thoughts of her will come, being a distraction. Is it permissible if the nikaah is delayed? And she also believes her parents may refuse due to her age. Jazakallah

 

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

Your feeling of guilt and wrong for communicating with the girl is due to your consciousness of Iman. May Allah grant you Taqwa to abstain talking and communicating with the girl.

If both of you wish to marry, then follow procedure. Marriage has obligations. A husband has to maintain his wife with shelter, food, and clothing. If you have the financial means to maintain a wife, then discuss your intention to marry the girl with your parents. The girl too should discuss her intentions to marry with her parents.

The girl in reference cannot simply submit to marry you immediately merely to avert the present distraction. The distractions after marriage due to the obligations of marriage could be more than the present distractions of containing your internal and carnal feelings. What you are trying to achieve through marriage may be defeated.

Our advice is, if you cannot marry immediately due to the girl or her family not accepting  marriage now or due to you not being able to fulfil marital obligations, you should exercise restraint and terminate contact with the girl. That is the best way to avoid distractions. Out of sight will lead to out of mind. When both of you are ready to marry, then follow procedure and marry then.

Until then, fear Allah and avoid all contact, as such contact is prohibited and will lead to immorality and sin.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hasan Ahmed Razzak

Student – Darul Iftaa

Paterson, New Jersey, USA

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

19-01-1440| 18-09-2019

 

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