AsSalam Walaikum WRA,
As a young Muslimah, it can be difficult in finding the right person, especially when you’re told your whole life to stay away from boys/men.
However, I am in a slightly different situation. While attending college this past semester, I found myself graduallly being attracted to this muslim guy in my class. I do not know whether I like him, but there is a different feeling I get from him. I have even prayed Salah-tul-Istikhara for him, when i know so little about him. I know aAllah has His ways of unitinig people/spouses. So, I have tawakkul in Him. Alhamdulilah, I have never dated nor have been in any haram relationships. Therefore, I have never approached him. Yes, we have eye contacts here and there but i quickly look away as we do realize it’s haram, and I even feel that there is something from his side because he has “attempted” to sit next to me and wait for me. However, we’ve only talked once face-to-face. I am God-fearing and do not wish for any haram relationships.
My sister and cousin know about this and say that I should talk to him and that it won’t be haram since they know about it? Should I speak to him? And if I do, will it be considered haram? I cannot tell my parents because I am not sure whether he likes me or not, for all I know this could be a huge misunderstanding. How do people, Muslims or not, even communciate if they like someone in a halal way without getting their parents involved?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is pleasing to note that you are God (Allah) fearing and you do not wish to do anything haram. At the outset, we wish to point out that Shariah prohibits a co-ed environment as that may lead to evil and immorality. It is natural for one gender to be attracted to the opposite gender. In order to avoid this natural inclination, Shariah has instructed the laws of segregation of sexes through hijab etc. Accordingly, it is not permissible for you to sit next to the boy. If he does so, you should move away from him. It is also not permissible for you to talk to him. If you do so unnecessarily, that will be prohibited and constitute a sin. Your sisters and cousins advise is incorrect and it will still be prohibited for you to talk to the boy despite them knowing of you talking to the boy. Sister, you should guard yourself from falling prey to your nafs and shaytan. Adhere to the laws of hijab to the best of your ability and safeguard your chastity and honour.[i]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
فتاوي محمودية) ص. ٤٨١، ج. ١٠ (
فتاوي دار العلوم كراجي) ص. ٥٤٠، ج. ٣ (
المحيط البرهاني) ص. ٢٥، ج. ٨، مكتبة الرشد(
الاصل للأمام محمد
وإذا كانت المرأة إذا نظرت إلى بعض ما وصفت لك من الرجل وقعت في قلبها له شهوة أو كان على ذلك أكبر رأيها فأحب إلي أن تغض بصرها