Hi, I am Christian. I just want to ask a few questions that I am really curious about. If a non muslim woman had a baby with a muslim man ang they are not married. What is the best thing to do? What if the couple wants to get married but the parents of the man doesn’t allow it because they belong to the so-called Royal family, which would put their family position at risk if the man pushes to marry the woman?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister,
You enquire what is the best thing to do if a Muslim man and Christian woman have a child out of wedlock and they wish to marry, but the boy’s family object to the marriage. You refer to the boy’s family as the royal family.
Sister, a marriage has implications on the aspect of a family. This is normal in society and also recognized in Islam through the concept of Kafaat (compatibility). If the boy’s family does not agree to the marriage, it is not because they are from a royal family. If the boy’s family is made aware that the woman is a non-muslim and she already has a child from the boy, that will be an embarrassment on the boy’s family. The family will want to rightfully protect and safeguard themselves from such embarrassment. The correct way, was for the girl to consider understanding Islam and sincerely accepting Islam and thereafter consider marriage without having an affair and child. This would be more acceptable to the family than accepting a woman who already has a child out of wedlock. The family may even accept their son marrying a Christian woman as that is permissible with certain conditions and considerations.
The present situation presents two negative factors, the woman is a Christian and she has a child out of wedlock. If the boy cannot defy his family and marry the girl and bear the pressures of his family, then the girl should still consider studying Islam and truly accept Islam. The child will be raised with Islamic values. The boy being the biological father, should contribute to the welfare of the child. In this situation, this is the best cause of action. The boy and girl could decide to marry in the future according to circumstances at that time. If the boy and girl fear committing sin and they marry against all odds, the marriage will be valid. However, both should contemplate and think of the consequences of what could occur if the marriage is done.
Please note, our answer is based on being objective to the woman to assist her to understand the mindset of the boy’s family and why the boy’s family would object on the marriage. Our answer should not be misconstrued as blaming the woman. In fact, the boy too should be blamed despite the boy’s family not regarding him blameworthy.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mahmood Suliman
Student Darul Iftaa
Gaborone, Botswana
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.