Is it permissible to have relationship with women who is an orthodox Jew ?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

It is Haram(strictly prohibited) in Shariah to maintain a general relationship with a non-Mahram girl, as  such a relationship could lead to immorality.

Allah Taa’la says in the Quran :

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا”   الإسراء: 32“

Translation :” And do not even go near to fornication”

It is human nature to be attracted to the opposite gender. This then leads to pursuing one’s feelings and desires.

It is precisely for this reason Shariah has prohibited free intermingling with the opposite gender. Shariah has instructed segregation of sexes and even to lower one’s gazes.

 Allah Taa’la says in the Quran :

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ  (30)  وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَى جُيُوبِهِنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَى عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِنْ زِينَتِهِنَّ وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ (النور)

Translation :” Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gazes and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which becomes apparent  thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, so that you may succeed.”

All these measures are put into place to avoid attraction and the negative consequences of the attraction.  Once a person is attracted to another person then that is the stepping stone for more evil to follow.

Brother, you state you are attracted to the girl. This is the consequence of not adhering to the laws of Hijab. You are now caught up with the consequences of the attraction. Make Tawba and have the courage to break all contact with the girl. The fact that you are attracted to the girl is no reason to continue the relationship. In doing so you will be feeding your desires.

Remember, there is no limit to the appetite of the Nafs. How long will you keep up the relationship to fulfill the feeling of attraction?. Will the relationship be confined to just a relationship ?. What guarantee do you have of your Nafs that it won’t lead you to engage in immorality ?.

Brother, you hurt yourself by going against the laws of Hijab. Do not hurt yourself further. Have the courage and break the contact with the girl immediately. You will experience temporary pain that will lead to permanent relief.  If you pursue the relationship , it will cause you permanent grief and pain.

Allama Busiari (Rahimahullah) explains the  nature of the Nafs in the following words.

فَلاَ تَرُمْ بِالْمَعَاصِيْ كَسْـرَ شَـهْوَتِهَا”

اِنَّ الطَّعَـامَ يُقَوِّي شَــهْوَةَ النَّهِم”

Translation :“  Do not intend breaking the desires of the Nafs through (committing) sins. Verily food strengthens the desire of a big eater.”

وَالنَّفْسُ كَالطِّفْلِ إِنْ تُهْمِلْهُ شَبَّ عَلَى”

حُبِّ الرَّضَاعِ وَإِنْ تَفْطِمْهُ يَنْفَطِــمِ”

Translation :“ The Nafs is like a child, if you leave it, it will become a youth while enjoying breastfeeding, if you wean it, it will be weaned.”

فَاصْرِفْ هَوَاهَــا وَحَاذِرْ أَنْ تُوَلِّيَهُ “

إِنَّ الْهَوٰى مَـا تَـوَلَّى يُصْمِ أَوْ يَصِمِ”

Translation :“So desist/discard the desires of the Nafs and beware that the desires do not overpower the Nafs. Verily when carnal desires overpower, it will either kill or create a defect.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ahmad Patel

Student Darul Iftaa

South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

  1الأصل للشيباني ط قطر (2/ 235

وأما المرأة الحرة التي لا نكاح بينه وبينها ولا حرمة ممن يحل له نكاحها فليس ينبغي له أن ينظر إلى شئ منها مكشوفاً إلا الوجه والكف.

 2بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع (5/ 121

وأما النوع السادس وهو الأجنبيات الحرائر فلا يحل النظر للأجنبي من الأجنبية الحرة إلى سائر بدنها إلا الوجه والكفين لقوله تبارك وتعالى {قل للمؤمنين يغضوا من أبصارهم} [النور: 30] إلا أن النظر إلى مواضع الزينة الظاهرة وهي الوجه والكفان رخص بقوله تعالى {ولا يبدين زينتهن إلا ما ظهر منها} [النور: 31] والمراد من الزينة مواضعها ومواضع الزينة الظاهرة الوجه والكفان

3

حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الْأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الْأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللَّاتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَائِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللَّاتِي فِي حُجُورِكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِكُمُ اللَّاتِي دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُونُوا دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلَائِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلَابِكُمْ وَأَنْ تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا

صحيح البخاري (7/ 3) 4

حدثنا عمر بن حفص بن غياث، حدثنا أبي، حدثنا الأعمش، قال: حدثني عمارة، عن عبد الرحمن بن يزيد، قال: دخلت مع علقمة، والأسود على عبد الله، فقال عبد الله: كنا مع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم شبابا لا نجد شيئا، فقال لنا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «يا معشر الشباب، من استطاع الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء