Assalam o alykum
I am in love with a girl form last 7 year, we are from different casts we both tried to convince our parents for nikah but no one is agreeing.
We are adult, i am 34 and the girl is 25 and we are afraid of zinah so we want to make nikah.
Plz guide us can we make nikah without our parents?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Muhtaram Brother,
Your intention to get married to save yourself from zinah is noble.
At the outset, one should understand that it is not permissible to unnecessarily talk/chat to a Non-Mahram. It is strictly forbidden to date and enter into an illicit relationship.
Allah Taalah says in the Quraan:
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
Translation: “And do not even go close to adultery. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and it is an evil way.”
(Surah Al-Israa, Aayah 32)
Consider the following Hadeeth:
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ لاَ يَزْنِي الزَّانِي حِينَ يَزْنِي وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَسْرِقُ حِينَ يَسْرِقُ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَشْرَبُ الْخَمْرَ حِينَ يَشْرَبُهَا وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَالتَّوْبَةُ مَعْرُوضَةٌ بَعْدُ
Translation: A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer as long as he commits fornication, and no one who steals is a believer as long as he commits theft, and no one who drinks wine is a believer as long as he drinks it, and repentance may be accepted after that.
(Saheeh Al-Muslim, Kitaab Al-Imaan)
Marriage is an extremely important step and a lifelong responsibility. It is a lifetime commitment in which a long-term relationship is established as a family. In choosing a spouse, all related issues must be carefully contemplated. When one is choosing a spouse, he is choosing a companion for the rest of his life. Hence, it is of utmost importance than one makes a constructive decision, deliberates every avenue and thinks for the long term. A pious spouse will be a source of contentment and preservation of one’s Deen.
If both of you wish to get married, you should adopt principles and discuss the issue with some responsible person in the family, perhaps an elderly reputable person to communicate and influence both parents to get both of you married.
You state both of you are from different casts, what do you mean by that?
How different are both families? Is the girl more superior to your family? Will her marriage to you bring disgrace and embarrassment to her family?
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And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Muhammad I.V Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.