Assalamu aleykum,
I have a question.
This summer I met a guy on vacation and we have been talking ever since trough social media (may Allah swt forgive me). He is a really nice boy and that’s why we kept talking. We both agreed to not get into a marriage yet because i am still at school and we are both to young to get married. But lately i’ve been wanting to stop this because i know it’s haram and I don’t want to disobey Allah swt anymore. The only problem is that he already sees a future with me and because he is so nice and soft I don’t want to break his heart or ruin him with this. Btw I have asked Allah swt a lot to help me but it feels like those dua’s have been rejected. I hope you can give me advice on how to stop this relationship or what dua’s i should do?
May Allah reward you for you’re time and effort and may Allah grant you Jannah In Sha Allah.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.
Sister in Islam,
At the outset, you should understand that a haram act always has negative consequences. It is haram for you to be in contact with the boy. Both of you are feeding each other’s desires and emotions with haram. You state the boy is nice. What is your criteria of nice? One cannot judge the niceness of a person just through a haram contact. The reaction of a haram contact is artificial and superficial. It is not true. Do not be duped by such an artificial conduct. Many young girls get caught up in such superficial relationships and are merely used and dumped. Later on this has devastating consequences of grief, anxiety and depression. Maintain your respect, dignity and honour and severe the haram relationship. The boy should be advised that the relationship is haram and you wish to stay away from haram. In this conduct, the boy will have respect for you.
You should consider putting the love of Allah above the feelings of the boy. Allah is our Creator. He deserves obedience. How can you give preference to the feelings of the boy and disobey Allah?
Do you love the boy more than Allah! If the boy wishes to marry you, he will propose for you. Your conduct will also serve to teach him a lesson to abstain from haram.
And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.
Hussein Muhammad.
Student Darul Iftaa
Arusha, Tanzania
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.