It’s been 3 years of our marriage. Our marriage was love marriage. We knew each other through my husband’s brother. Though we both were living in 2 different countries but that time we respected each other. But all of a sudden few days before our marriage my husband is forcing me for different things. So do his parents. One of the biggest collision is the clothing and why I don’t use make-up. It’s not that I wear inappropriate cloth or they want me to wear something inappropriate. In our country saari is a national cloth. but I’m not too comfortable with it. I can wear it very rarely but not always. Rather I’m more comfortable with salwar kameez. As per their rule as I’m married now I should wear saari everywhere I go. Moreover it has to be their’s as they say the saaris my parents gave to me as a gift are not good quality and they don’t know anything. My husband always forces me to listen to him and his family. As I’m also bit stubborn I do not wear the saari as I feel its a huge disrespect towards my parents. Also I want to wear something nice with which I’m comfortable with. Now here they also want me to wear the salwar kameezes which they will like and will always make comments that my parents don’t know anything and their choice is not nice. it’s been 3 years still I’m facing the same problem. On the other hand I don’t use make up and jewelry except some special occasion or day. Here they will be complaining why I don’t put on make-ups and jewelry. What should I do? Please brother help me out.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We apologize for the belated reply.
We take note of the issues in reference. We ask Allah Ta’ala to make your difficulties easy and grant you steadfastness on Deen. Aameen.
You refer to three issues:
I. Wearing saari
II. Wearing salwar kameez of your in-laws choice
III. Make up and jewellery.
Your attitude towards not wearing saari is correct. A saari reveals the form and shape of the body. It is haraam (strictly prohibited) and major sin to reveal the form and shape of her body.
Accordingly, it is not permissible for you to wear saari in public.
It is not permissible to make your husband and in-laws happy by wearing a saari.
It is permissible for you to wear salwar kameez on condition it is lose, and not attractive and conceals the form and shape of the body.
It is also permissible for you to wear jewellery and apply makeup. However, as a general rule, it is not permissible for a woman to expose her beauty in front of ghair mehram men.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
For more details on modesty, clothing, etc. See the following links: