I married after watching one of your video 3 years ago,alhamdulillah.she is a local scholar(ladies alim,maolana) I m not, she sometimes not pray,when I say to pray she sayed I prayed,but I understand that she is absolutely lie ing ,example:one night I go to mosque and prayed fazr salah,it tooks approximately 6 minutes to com my home and I see she is sleeping,i give water on her face to wake up,she did not and sayed I prayed ,then I told her how can you make your fard bath and finish your pray in 5 minutes,she did like this many times,also I order her to wear burkha ,niqab when she were attempt to go on a ceremony ,she did not hear me and go without covering herself,recently she did not sleep with me two night.she is pregnant. Did I sinful? Did I need any action,what can I do? before marriage I did masterbate a lot,now still I masterbate ,what benefit this marriage giving me,i already give her warning I will give you talaq.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
We take note of the contents of your email. We sympathize with you on the circumstances that you are facing and make dua to Allah to grant you ease from your difficulty.
At the outset, we wish to point out that one should fear Allah Ta’ala at all times, in secret and in open. Consider the following Ayah:
ألم يعلم بأن الله يرى (العلق: ١٤)
Does he not know that Allah is watching (him)? (Al-A’laq: 14)
Masturbation is an evil and despicable sin which ruin the life of an individual. One is deprived of the sweetness of Iman. His heart and soul become dull and develops an aversion towards Ibadah and closeness to Allah Ta’āla.
We understand that you are going through difficult times in life. However, sinning is not the answer, sinning will worsen the situation.
You should make Tawbah (repent) and Istighfar (seek forgiveness) to Allah Ta’ala. Turn to Allah with Dua and Zikr. He is the only one that can take away the difficulties in your life.
We also advise that you explain to your wife the virtues of Salah and the obligation of fulfilling the commandments of Allah Ta’ala upon her. You should also consult with your elders such as your father-in-law and explain to them the difficulties that you are facing with your wife.
You should also make Istikharah and decide accordingly. In the in the meantime, turn to Allah with Salatul Hajah, Dua, and Zikr.
Allah Ta’ala has also promised relief after these difficulties.
Allah Ta’āla says:
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا. إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا (الشرح: ٦،٥)
Translation: Verily with every difficulty there is relief. (Al-Sharh: 5,6)
You may listen to the discourses of Qaseeda Burda by Muhtaram Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Daamat Barakatuhum) which addresses the issue of reforming ones Nafs: http://daruliftaa.net/~dar60/index.php/resources/downloads/viewcategory/75-discourses-on-the-qaseedah-burdah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Abdullah Syed Sajid
Student Darul Iftaa
Houston, TX, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.