I am 32 years old woman with three children. Had my last child six months ago and have become fat which my husband does not like at all. A few days ago he was watching another video or something on phone to relieve stress at 1am n also masturbated to relieve himself. He does so only occasionally n also justifies such things as permissible as he does so just to get into the mood n then come to me. Inspite of me warning him he continues. I don’t like this n feel disgusted when he touches me now as i feel he is not pure enough for me after watching body parts of other thin ladies..i also want to become thin but its not as easy n fast… What should i do? With request for duas. Also please inform me if such an act is permissible.
Ps: husband is from tableeghi background.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We take note of the contents of your email.
May Allah grant you courage to overcome this challenge and May Allah grant your husband the ability to reform himself.
You enquire what your husband is doing is permissible or not? It is obvious that watching pornographic videos is haram. It is also highly immoral of him as a married person to do so. He should be ashamed of his conduct of pursing his carnal desires while you are in a breastfeeding period and sacrificing for his child. More so he has a tablighi background whose general slogan is sacrifice for the pleasure of Allah.
Your husband got caught up in this bad habit. You should help him to come out of it. Tell him in clear terms that what he is doing is haram. He is depriving the entire household of the mercy of Allah Ta’ālā and the presence of angels. Angles do not enter a house where there is a picture. Where will angels enter a house wherein such a disgustful and hideous act takes place? He is depriving his own child of the blessings of the presence of the angels.
Tell him he should exercise restraint. If he does not do so, you will be forced to discuss your frustration with his family and elders of tabligh. If he co-operates, advise him to identify a spiritual guide (shaykh) to reform him and control his desires. You may also refer him to the commentary of Qaseedah Burdah by my Beloved Teacher Hazrat Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.