Follwing two things are included in backbiting
1. To share your frustration with your friend about an ill deed done with you by someone. This is to relieve your misery.
2. To discuss someone’s ill acts with your fiends to safeguard youself and to get assisstance from your friend.
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islaam.
1) It is not permissible to talk ill of someone despite knowing his shortcomings
Consider the following hadeeth,
أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: “أتدرون ما الغيبة؟” قالوا: الله ورسوله أعلم قال: ”ذكرك أخاك بما يكره” قيل: أفرأيت إن كان في أخي ما أقول؟ قال: ”إن كان فيه ما تقول، فقد اغتبته، وإن لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهته”.
Translation:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Do you know what is backbiting?” The Companions said: “Allah and His Messenger know better.” Thereupon he said, “Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes.” It was said to him: “What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say.” He said, “If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering.” [Muslim/Hadeeth No. 1523].
It is clear from the Hadeeth that even though a person may actually have evil qualities, we are still not allowed to discuss it. We should be able to control and contain ourselves.
However, if one is a victim of oppression and the only way to relieve oneself is by talking it out, there is a leeway to do so only to the extent of relieving oneself from the effect of that oppression. However, to exercise patience even in such a situation is an act of virtue.
2) If one fears becoming a victim of oppression, it is permissible to discuss the evil intentions of the oppressor and to seek assistance to avert oppression from oneself[1].
And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best
Muhammed Al-Ameen Bin Moulana Ismail Akoo
Student, Darul Iftaa
Newcastle; KZN, South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
نفحات السلوك على تحفة الملوككتاب الكسب و الأدب
ج 1 ص 460 (دار الفرقان، عمان، الأردن، 2006م.)
ويستثنى من الغيبة: الظالمُ عند الشكوى منه