As-Salamu Alaikum!
I live in Pakistan and I am married to my late uncle’s daughter. The nikkah was performed in July but the ‘rukhsati’ (night of wedding) and walima will be performed in December. So, my wife still lives in her father’s home since I have not brought her to my home yet.
But during this time, my family says that it is not proper for me to visit my wife or meet her before the ‘rukhsati’ and walima. They say I can only talk on phone etc.
Please tell me whether this is implied by the Shariah or not. Can a husband not visit or see his wife before the ‘rukhsati’ even though the nikkah has been performed?
Also, if they allow meet to meet her in person, is it okay for me to kiss her or hold her hands while in private?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Once a nikah takes place, it is permissible for the married couple to enjoy marital rights, from meeting each other till intimacy. However, if rukhsati has been deferred, it generally refers to the husband and wife agreeing to stay apart for some time due to personal circumstances.[1] In that time, the husband will not be responsible for maintaining his wife or providing her shelter and clothing. If the husband and wife wish to maintain marital rights in that period, the bond of nikah permits them to do so. They may talk to each other by phone or even meet each other and have intimacy with mutual consent.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ridwaan Ibn Khalid Esmail [Kasak]
Student Darul Iftaa
Katete, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 147)
والعرف في الشرع له اعتبار … لذا عليه الحكم قد يدار
الناشر: دار الفكر-بيروت
فتاوی دار العلوم زکریا573/2
شرط نہ لگائ ہو تب بھی عرف میں قبل ازرخصتی لوگ ہم بستری نہیں کرتے،اس لۓ عرف کا لحاظ رکھتے ہوے بھی ہم بستری سے اجتناب کرنا چاہۓ
ناشر:زمزم پبلشرز
جدید فقھی مسائل 18/3
نکاح میں لگائی جانے والی شرطیں بنیادی طور پر تینن طرح کی ہیں:
تیسری قسم:ایسی شرطیں ہے جن سے عورت کو نفع پہنچتا ہو اور شریعت نے نہ انکو واجب قرار دیا ہو اور نہ انسے منع کیا ہو۔ گویا ان شرطوں کو مان کر مرد اپنے بعض ایسے حقوق سے دستبردار ہو جاتا ہے۔جن سے دستبردار ہونے کا اسکو اختیار ہے
ناشر:زمزم پبلشرز
صحيح البخاري (7/ 20)
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الوَلِيدِ هِشَامُ بْنُ عَبْدِ المَلِكِ، حَدَّثَنَا لَيْثٌ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ أَبِي حَبِيبٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الخَيْرِ، عَنْ عُقْبَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «أَحَقُّ مَا أَوْفَيْتُمْ مِنَ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ تُوفُوا بِهِ مَا اسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ
الناشر: دار طوق النجاة (مصورة عن السلطانية بإضافة ترقيم ترقيم محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي)