A/A
I’ll try to keep it short.
I’m a simple guy who’s never been in any kind of relationship with any girl ever.
I got married a year ago but couldn’t adjust well with my spouse who seemed selfish and disobedient. But I tried to carry on.
About 2 months ago I accidentally saw her Gmail wherein were her chats with her ex boyfriend. There was a lot more filthy stuff in there. I was devastated. She had accepted about being in a relationship before our marriage but she misled me by saying that they could hardly meet.
On being confronted she agreed to having done Zina with him multiple times. She sought forgiveness for lieing to and deceiving me and I tried to forgive her but itz been 2 months now and I’m unable to move on.
I no longer trust her because she had lied to me on other issues as well.
I would’ve divorced her but she is pregnant with my child and I never want ed to ruin her life,
I can’t share my pain with anyone else her veil will come off and she’ll be dishonored before everyone.
My question is:
When I remained chaste all my life inspite of opportunities why did Allah forsake me.
If I don’t divorce her would I be sinning (in light of surah Noor, only a Zani marries a Zani)
If I do divorce her and the baby gets affected, (being brought up say by a single parent) will it be sinful for me.
Please help me reach a conclusion
Allah Hafiz
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.
We take note of the contents of your email. May Allah grant you the courage to overcome this challenge and guide you to whatever is best for you. Aameen.
You did not refer to the background history of your marriage to your wife. One is advised to exercise precaution in making a decision to marry. He should consult appropriate people about the potential spouse and her background. He should also make Istikhara. We do not know if you followed the necessary guidance in Shariah before marring your wife. If you did not follow the guidance of Shariah in making your decision to marry your wife, then you have erred. In that case, it is incorrect to assume that Allah has forsaken you. If you followed the guidance of Shariah correctly, then your situation is a test of your Imaan. Allah says;
{وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِنَ الْخَوْفِ} [البقرة: 155]
“Most definitely we will test you with a bit of fear”
We understand your predicament. However, wife has confessed her wrong and apologised to you. She is also pregnant with your child. Now the issue is about your feelings and consideration of your child. In such a situation, you may consider following the principle of اهون البليتين (lesser of the two evils).
If you can find in your heart to forgive your wife as she confessed and that she is the mother of your child, then the following verse is a glad tiding for you;
{وَلَمَنْ صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ} [الشورى: 43]
“Whoever exercises patience and pardons, this is certainly among the most courageous issues.
In this situation, you would be able to inspire your wife with Allah consciousness which will have a positive effect on your child`s upbringing. If you decide to divorce her, then that will affect your child.
In essence, it is now an issue of your feelings or consideration for your child.
We advise you to turn to Allah with Dua and also make Istikhara.
And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.
Hussein Muhammad.
Student Darul Iftaa
Tanzania
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.