i have a question with regards to family and marriage. i live with my mother and wife in the same house and it might just happen mymother says something wrong to my wife regarding any issue. now my wife would naturally get upset and this puts pressure on me because one side is my mother and one side is my wife. I am newly married and would like advice on how to deals with this issue? without upsetting the feelings of my mother and wife. do i address my mother with regards to what she said which was most certainly not right?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.
All human beings are not the same. Everyone has a different temperament. It is natural for one to disagree or dislike the conduct of others. Shariah advises us to overlook and tolerate.
This is more important among women as their emotions are generally charged faster than men.
Rasulullah ﷺ said;
«عَجَبًا لِأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ، وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لِأَحَدٍ إِلَّا لِلْمُؤْمِنِ، إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ، فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ، وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ، صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ»
صحيح مسلم (4/ 2295)
“Strange is the condition of a believer, every condition has good for him, this (favour) is for non but a believer. When a pleasant thing comes to him, he is grateful, which is good for him. When a calamity befalls him, he is patient, which is good for him”. (Saheeh Muslim, Vol 4, Pg 2295. Ihya Turath)
Counsel your wife on this topic now and prepare her for any eventuality of disagreements. If you show her love, care and support, that will strengthen her tolerance and patience.
And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.