Aswk, Dear mufti, My question is : can a married woman stay with her parents, who are in a different country, for her pregnancy, delivery and post delivery period? I am in a real problem for which I am in need of proper consul. I recently got married to a guy in India, I had much difficulty dealing with his parents, especially the mother in law, they gave me a hard time. So a few months after my marriage, I went to visit my parents in the US, along with the in laws. I found out about my pregnancy and stayed back. After my husband left, he urged me to come back. I am unable to go because I have difficulty in travel, at the same time I cannot handle my husband’s family who constantly argue and fight. IN this state I don’t want to go. My husband does not keep me separately, and at the same time he is not cooperative. He does not take care of me properly. I am afraid to go, but he is forcing me to come. Another reason is that I don’t want to have my delivery in India, my in-laws want to force my child to stay in India. What can I do? Can I stay back?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
As-salaamu `alaykum wa-ramatullahi wa-barakatuh.
It is permissible and in fact normal for a first time pregnant woman to live by her mother some time before the delivery and after the delivery. The period before birth and after birth require special care and assistance.
You refer to multiple reasons for not going back,
1. Difficulty in travelling due to pregnancy.
2. Attitude of in laws.
3. Husband`s attitude.
In principle, you require your husband`s permission to stay at your parent`s home.
Our advise is you request him to allow you to live at your parent`s home for now until you are settled after giving birth. Do not refer to points 2 and 3 for now.
Your father may consider discussing the issue with your husband or his father.
Turn to Allah and seek His assistance. Perform salaatul haajah, make the zikr of Allah and make dua.
May Allah make everything easy for you.
And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.