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My brother and to-be sister in law talk behind my back and are being mean to me. How do i treat them?

I haven’t been talking to my brother and to-be sister in law since 6-7months. I keep telling him I am busy or I will talk when I will have time. The reason is because they have been judging me alot and talking on my back about me being a total loser and my to-be sister in law filling his ears with all sorts of bad things about me and even accusing me of things that I didnt do. My brother instead of favoring what is right and true instead focuses on supporting her even when she did wrong to me. She is very proud of everything she does and has not even a single honest show of apology for anything wrong she does and opposes any one for disliking her non-sharia behaviour and way of living.

I placed my trust in them many times but all they have showed me is a behaviour due to which I wasnt able to sleep more than 2-3 hrs in night for 20 days and eery day passed like a day when I was been eaten from inside me. I decided to put a stop to all of this by not asking them again to apologies but to remove any expectations and desires from them and stop talking to them which will prevent me anymore pain.

This is only to prevent any more quarrel, misunderstandings and animosity between us, and I don’t wish anything bad for them but I don’t want to suffer any more hardships. Please tell me is this correct or not knowing that its just to prevent anymore of pains from hardship and I can breathe in peace.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We share your pain and sympathise with you. May Allah give you ease and comfort. Aameen.

It is a norm that people do not take into consideration others feelings. Ridiculing, despising, criticizing, ostracizing, backbiting, slandering are the orders of the day. A golden rule is not to expect anything from anyone and having a neutral approach with one and all. There is a saying: “Do not be so sweet that people swallow you up, nor so bitter that they spit you out.” If you feel it’s better for you to stay away from your brother, then do so. Occasionally make salaam to him. You are not supposed to interact with your sister-in-law as she is a non-mahram for you. In fact, until she is not married to your brother, she is a stranger. It is not permissible for your brother to communicate with her.

Make sabr (exercise patience) and make duaa to Allah to unite you all. 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Safwaan Ibn Ml Ahmed Ibn Ibrahim 

Student Darul Iftaa
Limbe, Malawi

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
 

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