I have been having really bad thoughts for the last 4 months approximately. I am a lot better now and am able to control them better most of the time.
When I have these thoughts I try and fight them sometimes by saying ‘it’s the devil’ or mentioning someone else’s name etc. I try hard to fight them.
During Wudu yesterday, one of these thoughts came to me and to try and fight it I said:
‘The devil is’
At this point a thought came into my head, that it would be funny if I was saying one thing and thinking something else. I am slightly unclear on the exact thought, but roughly it was that it would be funny if I was referring the word devil to the Prophet. I then preceeded to saying the word ‘here’.
I am unclear when I had the thought part way through the sentence if I changed my intention to jokingly insulting the Prophet when I went onto complete the sentence with ‘ here’. There was a slight pause while this thought ran through my head, and the thought of being funny was in my head when I decided to complete the sentence with the word ‘here’.
After completing the sentence, I had a feeling like ‘a pretend laugh in my mouth, no smile and no laughing, a feeling you get when you are about to start laughing. I held this for a couple of seconds, and then dropped it realising this pretending may be an insult.
Please can you tell me if with the above I have fallen into disrespecting the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam).
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Your concern of not attributing anything negative to Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is a clear sign of your deep rooted love and sensitivity to the high & lofty position of Rasulullah. Simply ignore such thoughts & don’t pay any attention to them.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Leicester, England, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.