My husband is Muslim and he gets very angry to the point that he hits me or jumps out of a moving car. I need some advice on how to handle him when he is in rage? Please help me!!!
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
You state that your husband is Muslim. What is then your religion?
Anger is natural. However, it must be contained and regulated. The type pf anger expression in your query is un-Islamic. Abusing and hitting one’s wife is also un-Islamic and a major sin. Islam propagates love, kindness and tolerance to one’s wife. Allah ﷻ states in the Qur-an,
“وعاشرواهن بالمعروف”
(Translation: Live with wives in a principled manner)
Allah ﷻ states in another place,
ولهن مثل الذي عليهن بالمعروف””
(Translation: Wives have rights similar to what they owe to their husbands in recognized manner)
The Prophet ﷺ has stated,
الْخَلْقُ عِيَالُ اللَّهِ , وَأَحَبُّهُمْ إِلَى اللَّهِ أَنْفَعُهُمْ لعياله””
(Translation: The creation is the family of Allah, and the most beloved to Allah is he who’s the most beneficial to his family)
He ﷺ also states,
“خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي”
(Translation: The best among you is he who’s the best to his family, and I am the best to my family)
You know your husband better and you know what aggravates him. Avoid provoking his anger. When he is in a good and balanced mood, you may refer him to the above quotations. He should appreciate them as he is a Muslim or at least will feel guilty by his wrong.
Advise him to control his anger and show him techniques of anger management. If he does not cooperate and still expresses his anger in a way that endangers your life, then you should not submit to his abuse. If you know any of his senior family member, friend or Imam who could advise him, then you should consider using that avenue if it will help the cause and marriage. If that is not available or not going to be useful, you may refer to your local protection center for your safety.
If you are not a Muslim, we take this opportunity to invite you to Islam. Study the beauty of Islam with an open heart and mind. You will find Islam fulfill your natural instincts and bring peace and satisfaction to you. You may refer to the idealwoman.org website for more information on Islam and women. The website is useful for Muslim women as well.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ahmad Jafari
Student Darul Iftaa
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.