I am a revert brother and want to marry this girl(who is a born muslim) . I tried to convince my parents to come to deen and they say they may think about it if I marry a girl of their choice and from my previous religion(they have permitted me to take a vow from the girlof their choice that there will not be any idol worship in my home after marriage ) .
When we approached the girs parents , her mother is not ready to meet me and she has threatend to kill herself in front of us . After this I had dropped the plans of maariage (and just for the sake of allah and his rasool) . But its very tough for this girl to move on . She is panicking with thinking about future . I did ishakhara and I dont see/remember any result .
Is it permissible to marry this muslim girl without their parents concent and are we going to be questioned about her mother in akhirah ?
Or is her mother is going to be questioned about the responsibility to daughter ?
And is celebacy permissible if such situation arises ?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We make dua Allah Taala keep you steadfast on Imaan.Ameen.
It is not permissible for you to get married to the girl of your parents’ choice until she accepts Islam.[1] It is not sufficient that she merely abstains from idol worship. It is not permissible for you to submit and consider to your parents wish to marry such a girl. Islam should be taken seriously and should not be given secondary position by giving un-Islamic cultural practises preference.
In principle, it is permissible for an adult Muslim female to marry a person of his choice without the consent of her father.[2] However, in the enquired situation, we advise against you pursuing that angle. The purpose of marriage is to attain peace. How would that be achieved when the girls heart and mind is always attached to her mother considering the mothers reaction. The girl will never be at ease and that will negatively impact your marriage. Do not try to solve one problem and create further problems for yourself. Look for a long term solution to your problem.
Try to explore other avenues to convince the girl’s mother to approve the marriage. If she is adamant and does not co-operate, you should abandon the idea and look for another suitable spouse.
Celibacy is not permissible in Islam.
Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم said,
لَا رَهْبَانِيَّةَ فِي الإِسْلامِ[3]
There is no monasticism in Islam.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Huzaifah Deedat
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka ,Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] (2:221) وَلَا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ
( الفتاوى الهندية، دار الفكر، ج1، ص 282)
وَلَا يَجُوزُ تَزَوُّجُ الْمُسْلِمَةِ من مُشْرِكٍ وَلَا كِتَابِيٍّ كَذَا في السِّرَاجِ الْوَهَّاجِ
Fatawa Mahmoodiyyah Volume 11 Page 448 Maktaba Farooqiyyah
Fatawa Darul uluum Zakariyyah Volume 3 Page 607 Zam Zam
Fatawa Rahimiyyah Volume 6 Page 187 Darul Ishaat
Aaap Ke Masaail Volume 5 Page 62 Maktaba Ludhyanwi
[2]الدر المختار شرح تنوير الأبصار وجامع البحار (ص: 183)
فنفذ نكاح حرة مكلفة بلا) رضا (ولي) والاصل أن كل من تصرف في ماله تصرف في نفسه، وما لا فلا
كنز الدقائق (ص: 254)
نفذ نكاح حرّةٍ مكلّفةٍ بلا وليٍّ
البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق ومنحة الخالق وتكملة الطوري (3/ 117)
نفذ نكاح حرة مكلفة بلا ولي) ؛ لأنها تصرفت في خالص حقها وهي من أهله لكونها عاقلة بالغة ولهذا كان لها التصرف في المال ولها اختيار الأزواج،
الفتاوى الهندية – ط. دار الفكر (1/ 287)
كاح حرة مكلفة بلا ولي عند أبي حنيفة وأبي يوسف رحمهما الله تعالى في ظاهر الرواية كذا في التبيين
Fatawa Rahimiyyah Volume 5 Page 257 Darul Ishaat
Fatawa Mahmoodiyyah Volume 22 Page 462 Farooqiyyah
[3] شرح السير الكبير- (1/ 23)
ثم نفى ذلك رسول الله عليه السلام بقوله: ” لا رهبانية في الاسلام
شرح السنة للبغوي (2/ 371)
وَيُرْوَى «لَا رَهْبَانِيَّةَ فِي الإِسْلامِ»