My husband has suffered from OCD and since has improved vastly alhamdulillah, however he still shows signs of some OCD habits which I fear could become regular and back to how he was before, he makes it necessary to always wash his hands everytime he handles money everytime I tell him and point it out he becomes angry and avoids me and the conversation and this will soon escalate into an argument, I fear his OCD habits could be passed onto our kids and get very stressed about it, although the worst has been and gone I feel it could come back I don’t know what to do and how to get through to him.
He keeps telling me money is dirty so it’s compulsory to wash hands everytime you handle it, is this correct islamically? he thinks I’m always watching him to catch him out, but I just fear he doesn’t get worse like he has done in the past, I feel it’s putting a strain on our marriage and that I’m the only one holding but together. If islamically it’s correct then I will abide by it, but if not what should I tell him? Should he wash his hands everytime he handles money?
he won’t even pick his kids up because there shoes may touch his clothes and then his clothes will become dirty, I don’t think I have seen him hold his kids hands when we go out as he things there hands are dirty, I fear he is missing out being a father to his kids because of his OCD problem, and when I tell him he denies it all and argues with me and says what he’s doing is correct and that I know nothing.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We understand your predicament and sympathize with you. We make duaa that Allah grants your husband a full and speedy recovery. Aameen.
Since your husband did suffer from OCD, it will take time for him to recover. In these trying moments you will have to give your full support to him as you have done in the past and play such a role that does not make him feel that he is being watched. Indeed Allah’s help is with those who are forbearing.
Allah Ta’ala also mentions in the Quraan:
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
Translation: “It is the patient alone who receive their reward without measure.”
[az-zumar:10]
On the outset, you should be positive and supplicate to Almighty Allah with full hope in His mercy to alleviate your husband’s problem.
At present your concern is his habit of washing his hands after touching money and not carrying the children in the fear of getting dirty.
The position of Shari’ah is clear. Money itself is pure. One does not need to wash his hands after touching money. Holding the children and picking them up is encouraged and in fact a Sunnah of Rasulullah (SAW). Your husband’s attitude is clearly a representative of OCD habits.
This is a medical condition and we therefore advise you to seek medical counsel for him and how best you should react to his attitude.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Safwaan Ibn Ml Ahmed Ibn Ibrahim
Student Darul Iftaa
Limbe, Malawi
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.