Bedroom Fiqh: Clarifications on a Previous Post
Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
I recently read in one of your answers that it is permissible for husband and wife to stimulate each other by using their mouths and tongues on each other’s genitals. You then conditioned this permissibility by saying that, “Someone who does what has been mentioned above should avoid filth if it is present on the private parts.” I have a number of questions on this point:
- By “should”, do you mean it is obligatory to do so?
- Are ejaculate [m: Ar. maniyy, cf. Reliance, e10.4], pre-ejaculate [m: Ar. madhy, cf. Reliance, e10.5(1)], and other fluids that exit the male and female private parts included in what must be avoided?
- What exactly is meant by “avoid”? Does it mean not swallowing or does it also mean avoiding contact?
- If, by “avoid”, you mean avoiding contact, then this effectively renders these acts forbidden since it is almost impossible to avoid contact with these fluids since pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy), for example, will inevitably be present in such a situation.
- Are these acts disliked (makruh) or contrary to the sunnah?
(1) Yes, it is obligatory to avoid filth (meaning to touch it when it is moist or when the one touching it is moist) except when one needs to. Otherwise, this would be considered smearing oneself with filth, which is forbidden.
(2) Ejaculate (Ar. maniyy) is pure, so it is not necessary to avoid. However, swallowing it is forbidden because it is considered repulsive. As for pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy) and other fluids that exit the private parts, they are filthy, and must be avoided as described above.
(3) “Avoiding [h: filth]” means avoiding direct skin contact with any part of the body, whether by swallowing or by touching.
(4) What the scholars have explicitly mentioned is that these acts are permitted between husband and wife. However, they are only permitted if one avoids contact with filth because there is no need [h: to touch the filth] in this case. So if one wants to perform such an act, he or she must stay away from filth. [h: As for the objection that the condition of avoiding filth effectively renders these acts impermissible, it is not true because] not everyone immediately excretes pre-ejaculate (Ar. madhy); rather, people have differing natures in this regard.
(5) What is explicitly mentioned in the texts is that these acts are permissible. I have not seen anyone mention that they are disliked or better not to do (Ar.khilaf al-awla), and Allah knows best.
(Translated by Moustafa Elqabbany and Hamza Karamali)