Should I Seek Forgiveness from a Girlfriend I Wronged Before I Was Muslim?

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: Assalamualikum,

Before converting to islam, i had a relationship with a girl. A few months before converting, I broke of all relationships all of a sudden.

Now that i am married, and am a muslim, I often feel guilt that i was unjust towards her.  Should I now approach that girl to seek her forgiveness?

I am reluctant because it might complicate things, but it is true that i was unfair to her, and that she might hold a grudge against me in her heart… and my fear is that she will accuse me on the day of judgment for breaking her heart, and being unfair to her.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful

Assalamu alaikum.

Dear Brother,

Thank you for your question.

While you may not have been a Muslim when this relationship occurred, you obviously had a sense of morality.

If your wife approves, I would suggest writing a note of apology after asking Allah’s forgiveness for whatever harm was done. Even if the woman does not accept your apology, you have done the ethical thing and can move on.

Regards,

Zaynab Ansari