My Husband Is Against My Wishes to Be an Organ Donor. What Should I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: My husband does not want me to become an organ donor. He feels uncomfortable with someone else having his wife’s organs.Would it be religiously reprehensible not to listen to his wishes?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. According to the Hanafi school of thought, yes, organ donation is permissible.

Organ donation

Anas narrated that the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Tirmidhi]

May Allah reward you for wishing to benefit others even after death. It is your right to donate your organs after your death. However, this is a sensitive topic.

Please be patient with your husband, and don’t expect him to change his opinion overnight. He does not need a religious reason to oppose your decision. Ignoring his wishes would hurt him, just as him ignoring yours would hurt you.

Try to put yourself in his shoes. See if that will help soften your stance towards him. For the sake of a harmonious marriage, it is in your best interests to come to a mutually satisfying decision. This will take patience, dua, and excellent character.

Education

To help you understand the sincere concern one needs to have for one’s spouse, I encourage you both to complete Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life.

Belief

One of my teachers shared a beautiful gem of knowledge with me. Her teacher shared that when Hind (may Allah be pleased with her) was still a disbeliever and ate the liver of Hamzah (may Allah be pleased with him), the fact that his blood mingled with hers could have been the means to her embracing Islam. SubhanAllah.

Allah knows best, but perhaps the presence of your organ(s) in the body of a disbeliever could plant the first seed of belief. Share this with your husband and perhaps, over time, he will be more accepting.

Prayer

Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to help you and your husband come to a peaceful agreement on this issue.

Please perform the Prayer of Guidance about whether or not to proceed with donating your organs after death. The key is to not be attached to either outcome, but to leave it with Allah. Whatever Allah makes easy is your path. Whatever Allah blocks is not.

High Hopes

None of us know which of our good deeds will be accepted by Allah. Your intention to benefit others after your death is khayr, and perhaps this is something that will ease your path to Jannah.

On the other hand, perhaps Allah will elevate your rank in Jannah through your decision to forgo your right. Giving up what you want for the sake of bringing peace to your husband’s heart is a tremendous thing. And Allah Most High knows best.

Please refer to the following links:

Islamic Legal Views on Organ Donation: A View From Fiqh Councils
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Positive Spiritual Thinking: Choosing Mindfulness (taqwa) and Embracing Trust (tawakkul) by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani