How Can I Deal with Several Pregnancy Losses?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

My husband and I have been dealing with a very difficult year of trying to conceive. Several pregnancy have failed. My husband is wonderful at reminding me to keep my faith in Allah. I started fasting,paying extra attention to my du’as, increasing my charity, and making more Dhikr. I still can’t seem to shake the fear of this loss happening again. What can I do to better prepare myself spiritually for another try?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

May Allah ease your pain and grant you every well-being.

It is natural to feel heartbroken at a miscarriage or the loss of a child, and this is from the mercy of parents, and particularly mothers, towards their children.

But there is a difference between dealing with the pain with contentment with Allah’s Decree and complaint and objection. The former is the way of those whom Allah loves, and the latter of those who don’t benefit from what hit them. [see: A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah]

Sometimes trials hit us to turn us back to Allah, and from what you’ve describe, you’re succeeding in yours. Keep asking, keep striving, and take all the means to be able to succeed. Ask Allah to grant you the reward of your patience and steadfastness in this life, and health such that you can raise righteous believing Muslims.

It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, ‘O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.’ Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise.” [Ibn Majah]

Please see the following links: Dealing With a Miscarriage and Burying the Fetus and: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a and: What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani