Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
When do you put your feelings and beliefs ahead of another, and when do you put another person first?
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Sayyiduna Anas ibn Malik (may Allah have mercy on him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
“One of you can not be a true believer until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 13).
Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
“A (true) believer is he from whose mouth and hands other believers stay safe”. (Sahih al-Bukhari,, no. 10).
Sayyiduna Abd Allah bin Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
“The creation is Allah’s household and the most beloved of the creation to Allah is the one who is good to His household”. (Tabrani & al-Bayhaqi).
The above and many other narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) emphasise being kind to others and liking for them what one likes for himself. As such, if you do that, then your responsibility will be deemed fulfilled, even if that may mean putting your own interests first.
However, if one desires to forego his own rights and give preference to the feelings and rights of others, then surely there is great reward in doing so. We may have heard of the great sacrifices given by the Companions (Allah be pleased with all) in this regard, such as when in one of the battles, on the doors of death, they preferred their brother over themselves by ordering that water should to be given to another, and it lead to them passing away from this world.
However, if preferring another person and putting his interests ahead of you involves violating a command of Islam, then this would be not be permissible, rather, in reality this would not be doing him any justice. His benefit would be in adhering to the commands of Allah Almighty.
And Allah knows best
Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari, UK
www.daruliftaa.org