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Tell future husband about virginity?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftisays.com
Should i tell my future husband that i am not a virgin?

EXTRAS:
please could you also tell me a dua that can lessen the burden of guilt and disgust from my heart and a dua that i can ask for forgiveness.


Answer

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq

Respected questioner,

One of the signs of a believer is that after committing a sin, they feel guilty about it. So it is a good sign that you have a feeling of guilt about your action.

If sincere repentance (Tawbah) is made then Insha Allah the sin will be forgiven as long as you are not withholding a right of an individual.

The best Dua I can prescribe for you is to start obeying Allah.

In which ever manner virginity may have been lost
(eg. A wound, illness, falling, jumping, lifting a heavy load, horseriding, istinja, menses, age, zina etc)

You do not need to tell your husband that you are not a virgin.

Similarly if married but before intercourse, divorce(Talaaq) was recieved or the couple separated due to the husband being impotent or he had died(before intercourse) she would still be classed as a Virgin (Bakirah).

Nikah (marriage) after which intercourse takes place will make her a non-virgin (thayibbah) [1]

[1]
(مَنْ زَالَتْ بَكَارَتُهَا بِوَثْبَةٍ) أَيْ نَطَّةٍ (أَوْ) دُرُورِ (حَيْضٍ أَوْ) حُصُولِ (جِرَاحَةٍ أَوْ تَعْنِيسٍ) أَيْ كِبَرِ بِكْرٌ حَقِيقَةً كَتَفْرِيقٍ بِجَبٍّ، أَوْ عُنَّةٍ أَوْ طَلَاقٍ أَوْ مَوْتٍ بَعْدَ خَلْوَةٍ قَبْلَ وَطْءٍ (أَوْ زِنًا) وَهَذِهِ فَقَطْ (بِكْرٌ حُكْمًا) إنْ لَمْ يَتَكَرَّرْ وَلَمْ تُحَدَّ بِهِ وَإِلَّا فَثَيِّبٌ كَمَوْطُوءَةٍ بِشُبْهَةٍ أَوْ نِكَاحٍ فَاسِدٍ

(قَوْلُهُ إنْ لَمْ يَتَكَرَّرْ وَلَمْ تُحَدَّ بِهِ) هَذَا مَعْنَى قَوْلِهِمْ إنْ لَمْ يَشْتَهِرْ زِنَاهَا يَكْتَفِي بِسُكُوتِهَا لِأَنَّ النَّاسَ عَرَفُوهَا بِكْرًا، فَيَعِيبُونَهَا بِالنُّطْقِ، فَيَكْتَفِي بِسُكُوتِهَا كَيْ لَا تَتَعَطَّلَ عَلَيْهَا مَصَالِحُهَا، وَقَدْ نَدَبَ الشَّارِعُ إلَى سَتْرِ الزِّنَا فَكَانَتْ بِكْرًا شَرْعًا بِخِلَافِ مَا إذَا اشْتَهَرَ زِنَاهَا

رد المحتار علي الدرالمختار شرح تنوير الأبصار – كتاب النكاح – باب الولي الجزء الرابع، صفحة ١٦٦، دار عالم الكتب الرياض)
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(قَوْلُهُ وَمَنْ زَالَتْ بَكَارَتُهَا بِوَثْبَةٍ أَوْ حَيْضَةٍ أَوْ جِرَاحَةٍ أَوْ تَعْنِيسٍ أَوْ زِنًا فَهِيَ بِكْرٌ) أَيْ مَنْ زَالَتْ عُذْرَتُهَا وَهِيَ الْجِلْدَةُ الَّتِي عَلَى الْمَحَلِّ بِمَا ذَكَرَ فَهِيَ بِكْرٌ حُكْمًا، أَمَّا فِي غَيْرِ الزِّنَا فَهِيَ بِكْرٌ حَقِيقَةً أَيْضًا بِالِاتِّفَاقِ وَلِذَا تَدْخُلُ فِي الْوَصِيَّةِ لِأَبْكَارِ بَنِي فُلَانٍ وَلِأَنَّ مُصِيبَهَا أَوَّلُ مُصِيبٍ لَهَا وَمِنْهُ الْبَاكُورَةُ وَالْبُكْرَةُ وَلِأَنَّهَا تَسْتَحْيِ لِعَدَمِ الْمُمَارَسَةِ

وَفِي الظَّهِيرِيَّةِ الْبِكْرُ اسْمٌ لِامْرَأَةٍ لَمْ تُجَامَعْ بِنِكَاحٍ وَلَا غَيْرِهِ قِيلَ: هَذَا قَوْلُهُمَا، وَأَمَّا عِنْدَ أَبِي حَنِيفَةَ بِالْفُجُورِ وَلَا يَزُولُ اسْمُ الْبَكَارَةِ وَلِهَذَا تُزَوَّجُ عِنْدَهُ مِثْلَ مَا تُزَوَّجُ الْأَبْكَارُ إلَّا أَنَّ الصَّحِيحَ أَنَّ هَذَا قَوْلُ الْكُلِّ؛ لِأَنَّ فِي بَابِ النِّكَاحِ الْحُكْمُ يَنْبَنِي عَلَى الْحَيَاءِ وَأَنَّهُ لَا يَزُولُ بِهَذَا الطَّرِيقِ اهـ.
(البحر الرائق شرح كنزالدقائق-
باب الأولياء في النكاح-
جزء ٣ صفحة ١٢٤- دار المعرفة بيروت)

And Allah knows best

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Please remember me in your dua’s
Maulana Khalil Ibn Ilyas Laher
London, UK

This answer was collected from MuftiSays.com, based in London (UK). It is one of the fruits of Darul Uloom London. Many ‘ulama are involved in answering the Q&A on the site, including: Shaikul Hadeeth Mufti Umar Farooq Sahib, Mufti Saifur Rahman Sahib, Mufti Abdullah Patel Sahib, Maulana Qamruz Zaman Sahib, Mufti Abu Bakr Karolia Sahib.

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