Providing separate living quarters for the daughter in-law

Q: Please advise what is the duties of a daughter in law to her in laws? Is a married woman entitled to separate accommodation from the in laws if she does not wish to live with them. If the daughter in law is wealthier than the in laws and refuses to give them money is it a sin on her? The in-laws are wasteful, spend foolishly. Can a woman ask her husband to give her a quarter of his salary (she will pay for the bulk of expenses) to live separately and give his family a third or so of what he earns. If he refuses to live separately as he wants to give all his earning to his family, is this a valid ground for a women to ask for a divorce. Please bear in mind living with the in laws is causing the daughter in law to suffer from anxiety and she is becoming physically sick.


A: In order to avoid misunderstandings, we advise that a woman that cannot manage should be given a separate apartment. A separate apartment means to have a separate kitchen and room to live in. This avoids a lot of misunderstanding.

The wife does not have to spend of her wealth on even her husband. It is the husband’s duty to spend on her and take care of her needs.

As above. He is responsible to see to her needs in a respectable and dignified manner.

As far as possible, she should not request for a divorce unless it becomes unmanageable to live with him.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)