Premarital relationship

Q: I have been with a muslim girl for 3 years. We did things which were haraam. I did promise her that I want to marry her because it is not good to do such things without being married. But the fact is that I tried to marry this girl, and talk to my parents. But my dad and mum don’t like this girl, because she is not of our “cast” and she seems not behaving properly because she has a strong way of talking. I mean that she talks roughly and my mother is now looking for another girl for me to marry which will be a better muslim, and better according to her for me. Now the problem is that, the girl I told you previously is suffering because I left her. She is like oppressed and she is saying bad things to me, like I will suffer all my life, that my parents did wrong with her, that I will have a very long life and I will see how things happen with my siblings or my children. In fact she is just telling me to fear Allah. But I do fear Allah. I ask repentance for whatever I do with her. I pray for her so that she has very good health and that she lives a long life. The problem is now she is suffering, she told me that she is deeply suffering and it is all because of me. Please tell me what should I do? Should I marry her even if my parents disagree or should I be with her, even after all the things she told me. I am not feeling very happy to marry her? (neither is she, maybe). I am very scared of Allah and don’t want anyone to suffer. I just want her to be happy. I feel very bad for her, and I am just confused right now. Please tell me what should I do according to Islam. I would be grateful for your help. May Allah bless you for the help you are giving to me.


A: Just listen to your parents and promise Allah Ta`ala that you will never get back into any type of pre-marital relationship.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)