Q: My husband walked away from our marriage (like many minor times in past) giving me the reason that he doesn’t trust me, his parents will make decision for his life, he is dependent on them, his family will decide to who to name his business to and how his marriage life will move on. I live in USA and he came here because of my sponsorship, and since he has been here, I truly feel that he has gotten weak in this relationship of ours since he came to USA, and he was guided wrong about me by his family. He fought with me because of the things he was fed. He told everything to his family and didn’t leave any room to uncover me and our marriage in front of others, as much as I try to hide our problems and to solve between us. He then never came back to me to resolve things and it has been 3 months. He stayed with his family, cared for them and cared for his business instead of saving the marriage. I don’t know if I can trust him with my life one more time or not. I don’t know what his intentions are for future even though he wants me back. Honestly the way he is doing things is as if he is picking the wrong time to do things and all his actions/deeds have not shown that this relationship is his priority. I seek guidance from Allah and I request some help or guidance for me and what should I be thinking or doing in this conditions.
A: I am disturbed to hear of your condition. I make du`aa that Allah Ta’ala remove this difficulty from you and bless you with immense happiness in this world and the next. Aameen.
In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life. As far as your husband is concerned, show him the respect he deserves but don’t get consumed in what he is doing. Try to advise him as much as you can and leave the rest to Allah Ta`ala.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
Make a point of reciting the Qur’aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily, gather your family and read out some portion from the Fazaa’il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur’aan and noble Ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding. May Allah Ta’ala remove your worries and bless you with happiness in this world and the next.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)