Family issues

Q: I have some questions that are concerning me greatly. I am my elder sister’s wali. My sister has received a marriage proposal from one of my cousins. However he doesn’t read all 5 prayers, he only reads Fajr Namaz and attends jumah, he also listens to music, free mixes with non mahram relatives like cousins etc. I should let you know, my sister was negligent with prayer before but she does read all namaz’s except fajr and she has also started trying to read fajr as I have continued to encourage and advise her. I feel my sister fears Allah now and is a good girl. Do you think it is wise for us to accept this marriage proposal? My mother has said perhaps my cousin could change after marriage and read all the prayers.

My other question is to do with myself, I have been trying to implement Islam fully into my life and because of this I have stopped conversing with non mahram women even those who are related to me like cousins, I don’t speak to them, neither do I look at them, I have stopped watching TV for this reason as well as the fact that it is full of filth. My mother has said that, I have to talk to her friends when they come over to our house and I have to greet them with salam however I have told her I don’t wish to do this, as some of her friends who are in their forties/ fifties however wear lots of perfume, make up and tight jeans and I refuse to talk to them but my mother says this is not allowed as they are her friends and is rude and that they are like my mother my mother also says I have to talk to my elderly female neighbour who doesn’t wear hijaab and is a Christian, is this allowed Islamically? Also my mother and sister don’t wear hijab is it permissible for me to go out with them? I have tried encouraging them to wear Islamically appropriate clothing, but it has not made a difference to them?

Can I go shopping, visit relatives, family with them?

I am working currently and my mother also has a job , she helps people with special needs and down syndrome with their shopping, tidying and the down syndrome man she works with understands girlfriends and relationships and she has to stay and help him in his home alone, she also buys musics cds, haram movies, haram food for him. Is this a halaal job? Please try to answer my question as soon as you can as I am very worried about these issues.


A: If your cousin is obliging and wants to correct his life, he has good values, he is a person that easy to get along with then it may be an idea to accept the proposal.

You do not have to listen to your mother in these types of matters.

Obviously to accompany such people who are involved in haraam is also impermissible.

She should avoid going to any man’s home whether he is righteous or not.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)