Marital problems

Q: My husband is hardly intimate with me. Few months into the marriage I caught him looking at pictures of other women online and I questioned him about it and he advised he would stop, then 2 months later he was still doing it and I questioned him again and he advised he would stop. During this time we still were not being intimate, he just won’t touch me. When I question him he says “why I’m I interested in this subject?” and I respond advising “it’s my right as your wife”. He does not mind just getting wet with his clothes on and coming on top of me, I don’t like this at all. It’s not fair on me. I have confronted him about it but he does not seem to understand. I have caught him again just himself getting himself wet, but this time he says he does it when I’m not there and when he’s thinking about me. I don’t believe him. Today I have realised that he does it in a way where he thinks I don’t know what he’s been up to and he is still carrying on his ways. I don’t know what to do now. I live with my in laws at home. I have confronted him a few times, We have been married for nearly 2 years. We have no children. It was NOT an arranged marriage. My husband does care for me and looks after me. But I feel run down, upset and he does not think there’s any actual problem with him not being intimate with me. I make dua on his behalf to stop. I just don’t know what to do, I can’t tell anyone as it’s a matter not to discuss. Please help me.


A: If you feel that he is not the right person and it is unlikely for him to change from his unnatural immodest behaviour then the better thing will be to ask him for a separation.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)