Marital problems

Q: My brother has a 11 year old son. The child’s mother passed away suddenly about 2 years ago. May Allah most Kind, grant her Jannatul Firdous, Insha Allah Aameen. The child has been through a very traumatic time for at least a year, as he was extremely attached to his mother. With the Mercy of Allah, he is coping better now. They are living with us and Alhumdullilah. My parents are taking care of us all, as they always have. However, they are getting old, and I can see my mother is struggling to cope with the responsibility that has been placed on her. My brother has remarried 6 months ago. Unfortunately, his wife felt that my mother does not have the right to tell her to do anything at home ie. help to cook and help with my nephew. She says that my nephew is not her responsibility as its not her child, and says that even Sharriah does not place this responsibility of this child on her. She wanted a place of her own, and we had made the outbuilding ready for them. She stayed there for 2 days, and then left and now boards with a lady in a flat. For 2 weeks she never told us where she was. Eventually my brother found her. He did give her one talaaq after she left. She was pregnant at the time she left our home. A month later we heard she had a miscarriage. My parents have been very upset about this and advised my brother that she was not of good character (for various reasons as witnessed by my parents) and told my brother not to take her back. She has managed to convince my brother that she is innocent and that she is sorry about what she did. My brother read Isthikaara for 3 nights and all 3 nights he had very bad dreams, 1 was him almost dying in a bad car accident. Another was him waiting in hospital for a heart operation. She has manipulated my brother to such an extent that my brother has forgiven her and have reconciled with her. She is still at the flat where she is boarding. My brother stays with us, and goes to see her everyday. He is now looking for a flat for her. My parents are still very unhappy about this and have still expressed their concerns. And in particular are worried about my nephew who is an orphan child. My brother’s wife claims that it is according to Sharriah that the child is not her responsibility. He is my parents responsibility. Is this correct? And please advise how do we handle the situation. My concerns are that we are here for this child, but what will be his condition when my parents pass on? Also, will he never have a normal family if this woman does not want to care for him?


A: It is appropriate to advise him that he needs to reconsider his decisions. Even better would be to take him to some pious righteous experienced aalim who will be in a better position to advise him.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)