Marital problems

Q: I have been married for 13 years and have five kids. When we have an argument or misunderstanding, my husband upon getting cross would say swear me and call me harsh ugly names and when I say i’m going to leave him then he says where am I going to stay? Then I would say he must move so that kids lives would not be disrupted. (We stay in an out building by his parents. Both of us are responsible for the building of this house) then he tells me iI must move because this is his house. Then he would swear me out again and again. When I said I would take the kids with me as I am always here for my kids. Then he threatens me by saying he would kill me. A week later he plays amnesia and says he is so wrong. But after a few days then he doesn’t think he is wrong anymore. I have been for a fasakh but because the Maulanas knows him, they don’t want to phone him. This is recurring situations and I always get sworn at. I am so tired of this behaviour. Now when I say I am tired of this and I want to leave then he wants to ban me from teaching (Quraan) or having a phone or even driving. Please help me as I am tired of his lies. Everytime he wants to make up he says I have no grounds for fasakh. Please help. Also I would like to add that teaching hifth is my passion and I would not like to leave it. Since I have been teaching, my daughter who is in my class is finishing in a weeks time Inshallah.


A: If his behaviour is becoming over-bearing then for some time you may separate yourself with your children. Keep away for some time until he comes to his senses.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)