Not being happy to get married in a certain family

Q: I am in such a dilema, I am engaged and before this I did istikhara and got nothing, so I went with what my heart said. I told someone else trusted to do it and they got nothing too. Now that I am engaged my feelings have changed and I don’t want to marry this person. Also the way his family live are a joint family which is not allowed in Islam. He is not independent and have asked if we can love alone after getting married and because he is the only son he said after a few years which will only be sleeping separately, the reason being why I want to live alone is not because of his family the main reason is because of his father and grandmother before getting engaged they accepted that i wear english clothes however I will have to adjust with the family who all wear indian clothes, and now they are both saying that I have no choice after getting engaged to wear Indian clothing. My fiance does not mind what I wear as long as it is decent clothing and the body is not exposed however the family are not compromising, i keep thinking as i am going to be living with his family his dad may say to me you are living in my house and have to do what I say. My fiance does support me but only to a certain limit and he has told me that later he will tell me to wear indian because of his family which is unfair. I don’t know what to do but at the same time I don’t want to think too much or rush into things.


A: If you feel that you will not be able to manage living with them and you will be forced to compromise in your Deen, then you should not get married in that family. You should inform your parents to respectfully inform them that you no longer wish to get married to the boy.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)