Questions relating to iddat

Q: My Father recently passed away. I am now confused as to what is now forbidden for my mother for the next 4 months 10 days period. I know jewellery, accessories, kohl, perfume is not allowed. Can you please clear my doubts with a hadeeth or a ruling in Quran.

  1. My mother is insisting on wearing only white while I feel regular, humble, simple everyday clothes are allowed. We are Indians and she wears fully covering shalwar kameez and covers her hair with a dupatta/shawl. Can you specify which colors are forbidden?
  2. She refuses to speak to anyone on the phone and not involve herself in the day to day activities of the house like ordering  groceries, meat and billing e.t.c. even while staying indoors.
  3. She also feels eating with the family together is not allowed and prefers to eat alone.
  4. Moreover after a husband passes away my relatives have told her that the nikah becomes invalid/over and touching my father after he passed away and seeing my father in his funeral shroud was a mistake and she should have been inside or at a distance. Please clarify if the nikaah is broken through some hadith. Her other doubt is if nikah is over how can she live on my father’s money and on property that they both brought.
  5. She also refuses to step out on the verandah which is inside our house boundary wall and get some sunlight and stays in a dimly lit room throughout the day and night. Is going out within the boundary of your home allowed just to get some fresh air.
  6. Moreover after 40 days of my fathers passing my paternal and maternal family gifted my mother new clothes. I personally thought this was hurtful and a Hindu custom and hence is biddah. Please clarify.

Can you please describe in detail as to what is/is not allowed?



  1. She may wear her normal clothes. However she should refrain from adorning herself. 
  2. It is permissible for her to speak on the phone and to interact with the family and people while remaining within the confines of her home.
  3. It is permissible.
  4. It is permissible for a woman to look at the face of her deceased husband after he has passed away.
  5. If it is part of the home, it is permissible.
  6. If this is not a custom in the area you are living in, then there is no harm in accepting the gift.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)