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Verbally abused by one’s non Muslims mother

Q: My mother (christian) keeps abusing me verbally. Each day she is telling me continuously how bad I am, that nobody can ever love me, that I’m too stupid for everything, that my fiancee will also soon leave me (she says) because I’m so bad. Because of that I got depressions, panic attacks, huge fear from going to school. I’m trying to stay calm or go away, tell her to stop but she doesn’t care. I know the value off mothers in Islam and don’t want to displease Allah. But what should I do?

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A: Despite your mother verbally abusing you, you should continue to treat her kindly and politely. Islam emphasises kindness towards parents even though they ill treat one. Perhaps your good conduct towards her will soften her heart and be an invitation for her to embrace Islam. You should not delay in getting married. If you are already proposed, you should hasten to perform the nikaah.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

عن أبي هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا أدلكم على مكارم الأخلاق في الدنيا والآخرة قالوا بلى يا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال صل من قطعك واعط من حرمك واعف عمن ظلمك (شعب الايمان البيهقي #7725)

وعن عبد الله بن عمرو قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” رضى الرب في رضى الوالد وسخط الرب في سخط الوالد ” . رواه الترمذي (مشكاة #4926)

وعن ابن عباس قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” من أصبح مطيعا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من الجنة وإن كان واحدا فواحدا . ومن أمسى عاصيا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من النار وإن كان واحدا فواحدا ” قال رجل : وإن ظلماه ؟ قال : ” وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه ” (مشكاة #4943)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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