Q: I made a stupid vow over the phone while talking to my husband. After relations he always says things that show his regret that we had relations. It hurts my feelings immensely. Last time he expressed the regret I lost my temper and said (exact words in are in urdu) I said “theek hai ab aap mujhe haath nahi lagana, main qasam kha rahi hoon, agar haath lagaya to main ghar se chali jaoon gi” for the word ” haath nahi lagana” I meant sexually. And also when I said ghar se chali jaoon gi, I meant temporarily. This was a threat. I did not mean anything. Despite our problems, we love each other a lot. I belong to the hanfi school of thought. Is fasting for ten days or feeding 10 masakeen for a whole day enough kafara. What does my foolish words entail?
A: Sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for taking such an oath. You should refrain from taking such oaths in the future. After having relations with your husband, you should feed ten poor Muslims with the amount of Sadaqatul fitr as an atonement for breaking the oath. Alternatively you may cloth ten poor people with such clothing wherein Salaah can be performed.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللَّـهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِي أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَـكِن يُؤَاخِذُكُم بِمَا عَقَّدتُّمُ الْأَيْمَانَ فَكَفَّارَتُهُ إِطْعَامُ عَشَرَةِ مَسَاكِينَ مِنْ أَوْسَطِ مَا تُطْعِمُونَ أَهْلِيكُمْ أَوْ كِسْوَتُهُمْ أَوْ تَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ فَمَن لَّمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ ثَلَاثَةِ أَيَّامٍ ذَلِكَ كَفَّارَةُ أَيْمَانِكُمْ إِذَا حَلَفْتُمْ وَاحْفَظُوا أَيْمَانَكُمْ كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ ﴿المائدة: ٨٩﴾
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